Page 48 of Enemy of the State

“Maybe not entirely, but I know enough to know that you don’t deserve to die.”

“We all deserve to die.”

“You may be right, but we don’t all deserve to die in the next three days.”

Three days? Oh, bloody shit!Is he bluffing? It doesn’tlooklike he’s bluffing, but that’s the entire point of a poker face. And, if he’s not, how the hell am I going to get out of here in three fucking days?

Damn, time is running out.

I take a breath, reminding myself that I will find a way out of here if it’s the last thing I do. I will not die here. I will see Finland again. I’ll wrap my arms around Mercer and kick his arse for putting me in this position.

Ihaveto hold on to hope.

Hope for escape. Hope for a future.Hope for me.

“Answer something for me.” Choosing to call his bluff, my inner serpent lifts her head, baring her sharp, bloodthirsty fangs, dripping with venomous anticipation. “What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?”

“Being trapped in here with me?”

His eyes sharpen as he snorts. “I could ask you the same thing. You’re the one trapped with an alpha.”

The bellicose smile I wear drips with the renewed promise of retribution. “Digs, you may be an alpha, but I’m an apex predator. I’m most dangerous when I’m hungry, and right now I’m bloodystarving.”

Sean

As hungry as the viper across from me claims to be, I wish she’d either spit me out or swallow me whole already. God knows she’s been taking little bites of me from the moment she first opened her mouth in the playpen.

“Lou, I’d be fucking blind not to see you for the beautiful monster you are, and while I’m a lot of things, imperceptive isn’t one of them.” I run a hand down my face, only to remember the damn mask that I never thought I’d forget I was wearing. I’ve come tohatethe damn thing as of late and debate removing it now.

Releasing a chest-deep sigh, I prepare to lay all my damn cards on the table. I don’t have anything left to lose. There’s no camera, no one to hear my next words, no one except Lou. Jace is guarding the door, but he won’t be able to hear me through the thick, substantial layers of concrete and metal dividing us.

If one thing is obvious to me, it’s that Lou is extremely distrusting, closed-off, and suspicious. It’s a quality that’s probably kept her alive this long, but now Ineedher to try to trust me. There’s no hope of accomplishing that without opening myself up first.

“I’m trying to help you. You don’t have to believe me, but it’s the truth. I don’t want to see you die at the end of the week and, fuck, something’s seriously wrong with me because Ican’tkill you.I can’t fucking do it, but if it’s not me, it’s going to be someone else, and I’m even less okay with that. Help me help you, Louhi.”

The two of us study each other, her chocolatey eyes boring into me, as if she’s searching for a lie that doesn’t exist. Her expression no longer holds the savagery from a few moments ago, evolving into one of wary skepticism. I don’t blame her for that.

Eventually, she tilts her head to the side before righting it again and breathing, “You mean that.”

Louhi doesn’t understand. She can’t get it through her skull that saving her life is all that matters to me, even if that’s detrimental to my own existence.

“Unfortunately for both of us, I mean every fucking word.” I’m not sure I’ve ever been more forthright about anything in my goddamn life.

Reclining in her seat, she brings her hands up as far as her chains will allow, tapping her long fingernails on the metal tabletop absently, her eyes drilling into mine and her pouty lips pursing as she thinks. “Alright then, in exchange for your honesty, I’ll give you some of my own. You’re correct in your assessment, for the most part. You claim that my execution is to be at the end of the week, but I think you know that I won’t be allowing that to take place…at least not without dragging you down to Hell with me.”

I stare into Lou’s bright eyes and my mom’s words drift through my head on a phantom wind: “You can always trust your heart, even when you can’t trust your head.”

Both my head and my heart are a chaotic mess these days, and I don’t think I can trust either bastard at the moment. Opting to continue with my vow of honesty, I tell her, “Go on and drag me down to Hell with you then. We both know you’ll find a way to be queen wherever you go, and I’ll gladly worship at your feet for the rest of eternity if only to atone for the suffering I’ve caused you.”

Admitting to the guilt I’ve been wrestling with over the wayI’ve treated her feels good, even if I’m not all that great with apologies, especially for things like this.

I’ve been trained to be a master of my craft; a villain and a hero. I’ve been made to believe that the suffering of one can save many and I’ve held on to that, choosing to believe the truth and heft of those words. Lou shifted things for me, though.

Her suffering isn’t worth the safety of anyone else.

“Idolike to be worshiped,” Lou admits with a wink. “But you should never apologize for the things you like. You like inflicting pain and suffering. I like killing people.” She shrugs before looking down at her poor, mangled fingernails nonchalantly, like she didn’t just drop a bomb.

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