Page 36 of Wicked Love

“No problem, just jumpy, I guess.” I fill my glass a little more, pulling back once it’s full.

“Uh, Poppy. Can I say something?”

I turn toward him and he looks painfully uncomfortable. “Of course.”

“I don’t normally drink.”

Not what I was expecting him to say. I nod when he doesn’t say anything else. “Okay.”

“My dad is an alcoholic and I haven’t struggled with addiction, but I usually avoid it anyway.”

He takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair. His waves fall back into place and one thick strand lands against his cheek. He’s so gorgeous.

“I also don’t make it a habit of…sleeping around. Last weekend was…very out of character for me.” He swallows hard.

I press my lips together and nod slightly. “It was very out of character for me too. I’ve…neverdone that actually. I mean, sex, yes, I’ve done that.” I laugh nervously and his lips lift slightly. “But never when it’s not…someone I’m…you know, going out with or whatever.”

If a hole could come along right now and let me fall into it, I’d be so grateful.

“I didn’t handle everything very well afterward,” Bowie says.

“It was a little weird,” I say, letting out a strangled laugh that is just awful. I feel like I’m in high school all over again, trying to be cool but failing miserably.

There’s a painful silence.

I eventually clear my throat and forge ahead.

“How about we just forget it ever happened and move on?” I hold out a hand and he looks at it like it’s a foreign object, but then he shakes it slowly. My skin burns from the contact. “Since we’ll be running into each other around town and all.”

He’s quiet for a moment and his jaw clenches slightly. I kind of think I disgust him or something. Whatever I felt having sex with him, all the rainbows and butterflies and bliss…he did not feel the same.

“Okay,” he says simply.

He lets go of my hand and leaves the room. It takes me a good ten minutes to work up my nerve to go back to the party, and when I do, he’s gone.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

F-WORD

BOWIE

The past few weeks have been mind-numbing. I feel like I’m failing at life. The time I usually spend during the offseason doing fun things with Becca after school has been spent at the hospital with my dad and making sure my mom is okay. Becca isn't being ignored, it’s not that. We're usually swimming and spending time hiking or playing in the snow, but it’s few and far between. It's now fast food on the way to the hospital and taking a last-minute swim beforebed. Eating differently and getting off of our routine is affecting both of us.

As much as I didn’t want a pet, I’m eating my words now. Martha is a trouper. I don’t know if it’s because she’s a rescue or what, but she just seems so grateful for any attention. She’s actually made my job easier, occupying Becca while we’re at the hospital and at home too, when I have things to catch up on. Becca’s obsessed with her and Martha goes everywhere we do. People have a physical reaction to the pup and I find myself defensive of the little thing now that I’ve gotten to know her.

Our time is consumed by my parents and I wish I dealt with all of that better. It's hard to think kindly toward a father who hasn't been kind to me. There are a lot of mixed feelings that come with that and Isuckat dealing with feelings.

I've been in a constant foul mood, really, since the wedding. Okay, since sleeping with Poppy. I regret blowing her off and I don't deal well with that either.

I call my brother Tobias and he finally answers.

“What’s up?” he says.

“Hey, I’m glad you answered. Things aren’t looking good with Dad. He’s rarely awake anymore.”

“Yeah?”

I wait, expecting him to say more, but when he doesn’t, I sigh.

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