Page 55 of Wicked Love

The Q&A continues, and my stomach hurts from laughing. Every now and then, I feel eyes on me and look over to find Bowie watching me. He’s laughed a lot tonight too and looks better than I thought. Maybe the lighthearted evening has been exactly what he needed.

As the Q&A comes to a close, Calista explains how the signing process will begin. I see sudden movement out of the corner of my eye and watch as Bowie tries to quietly answer his phone. He takes Becca by the hand and they walk out of the bookstore quickly.

Later, when I’m home and in bed, heart full from such a fun night, I get a text in the group thread with the girls.

Tru

It was such a fun night. I hate it so much that it ended this way for Bowie. He looked like he was finally letting loose for the first time in so long too.

Elle

It’s so sad. I know…it was wonderful to see him laughing. He needed that and then, bam.

Oh no. I get a sick feeling.

What happened?

Tru

I’m so sorry, Poppy! I was going to text you separately to let you know about Bowie’s dad. He passed away tonight.

Oh no.

I stare at the ceiling and then pull up Bowie’s number.

I heard about your dad. I don’t even know what to say except that I’m so sorry for this loss, Bowie.

He doesn’t answer right away. But when he writes back, it’s simple.

Bowie

Thank you, Poppy.

For some reason, those words, along with him saying my name, unmoors me. I shed tears for Bowie and Becca. I’ve picked up on an underlying tension that Bowie carries about his family, especially his dad, and I hate that he has to carryall the feelings that this brings. It’s a different kind of sadness when you lose someone you should be close to but have unresolved issues with…it makes me so grateful that I have a close relationship with my dad and my grandparents. If it wasn’t so late, I’d call them right now. I’ll go see them after work tomorrow. We normally see each other every other week now that I’m in Silver Hills, but now that they’re all getting older, I should make more of an effort to see them every week.

Please let me know if I can do anything. Pickups and drop-offs with Becca, hanging out with her, running errands, food, anything.

Bowie

That’s really kind. I just might take you up on that.

I want to keep texting him, but I leave it at that.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

THE SHADOWS

BOWIE

The cemetery is peaceful, quiet except for the rustle of wind through the trees. I feel stiff as I stand near the casket, my hands clenched at my sides. We had the funeral at Elle’s dad’s church, and now he says a few words at the gravesite. I like Doug Benton, but what he’s saying barely registers as I stare at the polished wood of the casket.

Throughout the funeral, I heard Dad’s friends and some of his family members talk about a man I didn’t recognize. I know some of them saw the sides of him I knew, and I wonder if they’ve already slipped into that way of talking about the deceased that isn’t quite true. Where we immortalize them and make them sound better than they ever were.

Or maybe they truly didn’t know the monster he could be.

Tobias steps into place, late. I catch his eye and we share a flicker of understanding without saying a word. He knows the truth. My mom does too, but I don’t think she’ll ever admit it.

Mom stands between us, her face mottled from crying. She dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief and shakes her head now and then when the grief seemingly overtakes her.

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