Page 45 of The Way We Collide

“One of whom I know nothing about.” We’ve made it to Pouty Dad, which means he’s almost done sulking. “It was very selfish. I’ll never have the chance to walk you down theaisle again.” My throat tightens at that complaint, but I don’t argue. “And what about Amelia? She would’ve been your maid of honor.”

“Mimi will understand.” She’s one of three people who know about Operation Make Raven a Millionaire. “She’s got enough on her plate without having to worry about a big wedding.”

“I’d like to see pictures.” Now he’s coming around. “I’d like to meet this young man, my son-in-law. The father of my only grandchild.”

“You will one day, but I told you, he’s a professional football player. He started his training camp last week, so he’s gone every day. Then the season begins. We’ll have to try and do something in December.”

In three months…

“What will you do the whole time you’re there, alone with a baby while he’s playing games?”

He makes it sound so awful, I can’t stop an eye-roll.

“We’re actually looking into getting me a job at one of the local TV stations here. Hendrix has lots of media connections.”

“What about Hayden?”

My lips twist, and I chew the bottom one. It’s a good question we haven’t discussed yet. I don’t know anything about this new city, and I can’t imagine Hendrix has been keeping up with childcare options in Los Angeles.

“She’ll have a nanny, of course.”When in doubt, make it up!“The team has a service.”

It seems like I read something about football programs providing child care for the players.

“Will you get to interview this person, or will it be whoever those addle-headed people see fit?”

“They’re not addle-headed, and of course, I’ll get to interview the person.”

“Just make sure they place an emphasis on safety. From whatI’ve observed of that organization, they don’t seem to take injuries very seriously.”

“Dad!” My voice rises, and I exhale a laugh. “They’re not going to let the babies get injured.”

In my fantasy, the football-sponsored nanny I made up is a fastidious German woman with very strict rules and a no-nonsense approach. I have no idea why I imagine her wearing one of those navy capes and hats like inThe Sound of Music.

“I’m sorry, I worry about you. I only want you to have the best.” The concern in his voice melts my annoyance.

I smile, tilting my head to the side. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’m really fine. Better than fine.”

“But are you happy?”

“Yeah,” I nod, realizing as I say the words, they’re true. “I am.”

I’mhopeful. For the first time in eighteen months, I’m not terrified it’s all over for me. I feel like I have a shot at achieving my dream again, unlike when I was alone with Haddy.

“That’s all that matters to me.” My father’s voice is calm.

Our conversation ends, and I walk through the house, back to the room where I put Haddy down for a nap. Standing outside the door, I listen to her happy squeals and coos before opening it.

She always has been an easy baby, even if my body seemed hell-bent on killing me my entire pregnancy. The nurses would say she was going to have red hair. Then they’d say she’d be covered in hair.

Come to find out, neither of those things was true. Her skin is smooth and nearly hairless like mine. She has brown hair like mine and her daddy’s, and his ocean blue eyes.

Dylan sent me a file of baby pictures from when Hendrix was little, and it’s pretty amazing how much she looks like him.

As soon as she sees me, she’s on her feet, holding onto the side of her crib and bending her knees to bounce.

“Da da da!” she cries happily, smiling and pointing.

“Ma-ma,” I say to her, doing my best to demonstrate theMby pressing my lips together and humming. “Ma… ma.”

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