Page 54 of Sinful Promise

Do I send her a text and apologize for what happened?

But that seems juvenile. Besides, I’mnotsorry that the kiss happened. What Iamsorry for is the way I acted when we were interrupted. I didn’t want Dimitri to think something was going on between us, because then Zara would have found out, and I didn't want her thinking that I’m just using her sister for sex because that’s not true.

She would have every right to think that, though, because I don’t exactly have the most stellar reputation.

I’m almost thirty, and I’ve never had a serious girlfriend, so she has every reason not to believe me if I told her I was serious about Emily.

But why does it bother me what Zara thinks? Or Dimitri?

Ultimately, it only matters that Emily knows how I really feel about her. We’re both grown-ass adults. We don’t need anyone’s permission to see each other.

So, why does it feel like we do?

Maybe it’s because I’m the youngest out of all of my brothers, and I’ve always felt a need to prove myself to them. I’ve craved my brothers’ approval my entire life, but if I have any chance of moving forward with Emily, I need to change that before it’s too late.

On Monday afternoon, I follow Emily from her final class of the day to the library.

Campus is fairly quiet, considering that most of the classes have finished for the day, so I have to be extra careful not to be seen.

Though, I would love to see the look on Emily’s face if she saw me in a T-shirt and jeans. She would tease me mercilessly, and I would love every second of it.

Fuck, I miss her.

My body is so attuned to her that even seeing her from a distance has my blood heating.

I can still taste her on my lips, and watching her hips sway as she wears those denim cut-offs has me adjusting myself.

Knowing what it feels like to have her in my lap and kissing me is like offering an alcoholic a shot of vodka.

It quells the itch for a time, but ultimately, it only makes you crave it more.

We need to talk, but I don’t want to have this conversation with her over text. She deserves more than that.

So, as I watch Emily head into the library, I almost blow my cover by intercepting her, just so she would have no choice but to talk to me face to face.

Except, as much as I want to tell her how I feel, it feels wrong for her not to know that I’ve been following her all this time. Keeping secrets never ends well, and the fact that she’s still walking around the city thinking that Isaak is still out there feels wrong.

Screw what Dimitri thinks.

Emily deserves to know the truth. If I’m to come clean about my feelings, I come clean abouteverything.

Ignoring the urge to follow Emily inside the library, I take a seat on my usual bench, which gives me a perfect view of the library without being directly in Emily’s eyeline when she leaves.

I know from experience that the only other way out of the building is the emergency exit around the back that is off limits to students, so there’s no way I’ll miss her.

Knowing Emily, she’s going to be in the library for at least a couple of hours, so I lean back and lift my face to the sun, deciding to soak up some rays while I wait.

I’m honestly surprised that Emily hasn’t figured out that I’ve been following her. From the way she constantly glances over her shoulder, it makes me think she has. After all, there’s been a few close calls where I’ve almost run straight into her.

The other day, I was following behind her as we walked past the student service center, and out of nowhere, she turned around and almost walked right into me. Thankfully, a girl pushed in front of me, and I was able to quickly adjust my cap and turn the other way, otherwise I would have been completely fucked.

There isn’t exactly a logical explanation as to why I would be hanging about outside the student service center when I no longer go to this school.

But the longer I watch her, the less comfortable I am with this entire situation. Add the kiss into the mix, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and shoot Dimitri a message.

I think we should tell Emily the truth.

---