Page 166 of Hate Mates

I Choose You, Lochlan Drake by Cori Zahara

ONE

Lourdez

Apopping boba almost chokes me as I devour my tea. The pink liquid quickly decreases as I listen on the phone to my best friend, Amelie, reeling off the last wishes of one of our childhood friends.

It’s been so many years since I last saw Colten. I’m sure we both figured we’d have many more, being only in our early twenties. Many more years to try and move the wedge I’d placed between us when I sent his brother to prison.

My stomach rolls. It’s the boba, I lie to myself and push away thoughts of Lochlan Drake.

Slowly, those thoughts creep back.You put that poor guy in prison for a sexual assault that he not only did not do but that he healed you from the very first night it happened. You’re despicable. An awful person.

Despite the almost empty cup in my hand, my throat grows dry as I think of how he kissed my neck with gentle lips, of how he touched me, willing me to forget the creep who’d broken into my grandfather’s home while I was housesitting, to steal his army medals. I’d interrupted, and of course, the creep, who’d thought he was entering an empty house, saw something else hecould take—something I never wanted to give to a stranger in a mask.

Lochlan was my grandfather’s neighbor. He was also the skinny older brother of a friend, and he’d heard me screaming for help. So skinny he could have snapped with a hit too hard to the ribs, but he risked it for me. A girl he’d never said one word to because of how my father treated his.

My throat becomes dry again.

I slurp down the line, sucking up the remaining bobas before I finish and set down my cup.

Acknowledging the goosebumps on my arms from painful memories, I rub them away and pick up my second boba tea.

Noise echoes from another room in the house. The curse that follows from my father’s lips is the reason my spine straightens.

“Lourdez, are you listening?” Amelie asks, her tone laced with as much annoyance as concern.

“Uh-uh,” I mumble through my straw, half of my attention out in the hallway, where it sounds like Dad’s anger is lingering.

“Look, I’m sure you don’t have to worry. He just wants to see his brother. If you happen to run into each other?—”

“I saw him earlier.”

“And?”

“And he avoided me like I carried the plague.”

“And he’ll probably do that if you happen to run into each other at the hospital, but what are the chances.”

“High? I mean, he’ll probably want to spend every minute with his brother.”

“Well, maybe. He hadn’t arrived yesterday when I made my way home.”

“I should have just come with you.”

“Well, I did ask.”

“Yeah, I know. Dad needed me.” Needed me to take out his anger on. I couldn’t travel three hours with Amelie without herspending the whole time wondering why my face was covered in bruises. No amount of makeup could hide the ugly purple from her eagle eyes. “Anyway, let’s not talk about Lochlan Drake anymore tonight.”

The truth is, I don’t need to hear it. The mere mention of him has me sitting in a dark room, surrounded by snacks that’ll make me feel disgusting tomorrow. Almost as bad as the guilt that comes with the knowledge that I ruined a man’s life to please another man...but nothing I ever do is good enough for my father.

And nothing Lochlan did warranted a prison sentence. The guy who actually deserved one got away with it.

I’d never wanted to pin things on the one person who tried to help me. It was Dad’s brutality and the threat of bruises that made me agree to things like that.

He still controls me with his rage. His screaming startles me again, the nerves building inside me and causing me to shake. A painful reminder that I’d picked the wrong man…and that for each day I stay here, I continue to do that.

“But you’re going tomorrow, right?”

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