Page 39 of Demon Daddy's Nanny

"Just go talk to him."

"It's not that simple." My fingers trace the ancient text, feeling the indentations of each letter. "Your father... he's like one of these books. Layer upon layer of history, of pain, of responsibility."

"And you're scared, too."

The observation hits too close. "What?"

"You're afraid to let him in - afraid he’ll break your heart." She closes her book. "But one of you will have to break the ice.”

Heat floods my cheeks. She's right - I know she is. Ridwan will never willingly let someone close, but he clearly wants me. Am I just as bad as him, just as afraid?

"We shouldn’t talk about your father,” I say with finality. She might know him best, but I don’t need her getting the wrong idea.

Even if her words are hitting me hard. What if she’s right and he does break my heart? What if this is all just physical for him?

The thought settles in my chest like a weight. Last night, in those moments when he'd held me after, his touch had beenreverent. Tender. Like he was memorizing every inch of my skin, knowing he'd deny himself again come morning.

"He's an idiot." Annalise declares with all the conviction of youth.

I manage a small smile. "He's your father."

"Exactly. I know what I'm talking about."

After our failed study session, Annalise leads me to the gardens. The morning sun catches in her platinum hair, making it shimmer like starlight against the dark foliage. She settles onto a stone bench beneath twisted vines bearing purple blooms, her wings folded neatly behind her.

"Maybe there’s something you should know…”

I don’t like the way she says that. “And that would be?”

“Mom died before they could complete the soul bond." Her fingers pluck at a fallen petal. "Dad never talks about it, but I found her journals hidden in the library. I think it bothers him, not just that he lost her but that he never even had her the way most xaphan do with their mates."

My heart clenches. "They were planning to?"

"Right after I was born." Annalise's silver eyes fix on the distant mountains. "The Nashai was already arranged. But then she got sick, and..." She shrugs, the gesture too heavy for her young shoulders.

I sink onto the bench beside her, processing this revelation. "So they never formed that connection?"

"No. And I think..." She tears the petal into tiny pieces. "I think that's why he won't let anyone close now. The soul bond would have linked them forever, made them truly one. But losing her without it? Maybe he feels like he failed her somehow."

The garden breeze carries the scent of night-blooming flowers, sweet and melancholy. I think of Ridwan's carefully maintained control, the walls he's built so high. How manynights has he spent wondering what might have been different if they'd completed the bond sooner?

"He loved her so much." Annalise's voice drops to barely a whisper. “I know he did. But that doesn’t mean that he has to shut you out. I’m not replacing my mom with you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life, too.”

The revelation sits heavy in my chest. Is that why he pulled away? Because the echo of those old feelings terrifies him? Because loving someone - truly loving them - means risking that devastating loss all over again?

"He's still grieving," I murmur, more to myself than Annalise. "Not just her death, but the connection they never got to share."

The weight of Annalise's words settles in my bones. My fingers dig into the rough stone bench, anchoring me against the surge of emotions threatening to overflow.

"I won't be a replacement." The words come out sharp, cutting through the garden's peaceful atmosphere. "I can't be her ghost."

Annalise's wings rustle. "That's not what I-"

"I know." I stand, needing to move. The purple blooms blur as I pace. "But I won't let him use his grief as an excuse to treat me like I don't matter."

"Eva-"

"No." Heat rises in my chest, familiar and fierce. "I've spent my whole life being overlooked because I'm human. Being treated as less. I won't do it anymore, not even for him."

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