Page 41 of Demon Daddy's Nanny

But none of that stops my heart from racing every time she's near. None of it quells the hunger that burns through my veins like molten gold.

I slump in my chair, the weight of memories pressing down like lead in my chest. Sera. Even thinking her name feels like reopening an old wound. She was sunshine and warmth, everything good I didn't deserve. I loved her - or thought I did. But now...

My fingers trace the spot over my heart where a soul bond mark should have been. We'd planned the ceremony, chosen the Nashai who would perform it. Then came the news of her pregnancy. "After the baby," we'd said. "When it's safer." Always later, always tomorrow, until there were no more tomorrows left.

The bond with Sera would have been gentle, comfortable. Like slipping into warm water. But Eva... My wings shudder at just the thought of her. What I feel for Eva is a wildfire in my blood, a hurricane in my chest. It tears through all my carefully constructed walls and leaves me raw, exposed. When she's near, my soul reaches for hers with an intensity that terrifies me.

I've seen soul-bonded couples before. Watched how they gravitate toward each other, how their eyes track their partner's movements. But this pull to Eva is different - darker, more primal. I want to consume her, to mark her so deeply that no force in any realm could separate us. The mere thought of someone else touching her makes my wings bristle and my fangs lengthen.

If I bonded with her... My hand clenches into a fist. The mark would bloom over both our hearts, binding us for eternity. I'd feel every flutter of her emotions, every spike of joy or pain. She'd never be truly apart from me again.

The wanting is so fierce it steals my breath. I imagine her soul entwined with mine, our life forces braided together until death and beyond. The vision is so vivid I can almost feel the Nashai's magic pulling us together, see the golden tether sinking into our chests...

But I don't deserve that kind of connection. Not after failing Sera. Not after failing Annalise. I am darkness and duty and ancient blood. Eva deserves light and freedom and a future untainted by my shadows.

I push away from my desk, my wings snapping out in agitation as I stalk to the window. The morning light burns my eyes, but the pain is welcome - anything to distract from this constant ache in my chest.

Physical attraction. That's all this is. Just my body's response to a beautiful woman. I've gone too long without... No. Even inmy own mind, I can't reduce what I feel for Eva to mere lust. The truth claws at my throat, demanding to be acknowledged.

My reflection in the window panes shows a man I barely recognize. Gone is the composed leader, the strict father. In his place stands someone wild-eyed and desperate, wings spread wide and trembling. When did I become this creature, this thing that burns and hungers?

Eva has carved herself into my bones, woven herself through my blood. Each breath I take is heavy with the knowledge that she exists, that she moves through my home like a spirit of light and warmth. My wings ache to shelter her. My hands remember the silk of her skin. My soul...

Gods help me, my soul reaches for hers like a flower straining toward the sun.

I slam my fist against the window frame, the impact sending shockwaves up my arm. The pain does nothing to quiet the voice in my head that whispers her name with every heartbeat. Eva. Eva. Eva.

Pushing her away feels like tearing out my own heart. Each cold word, each dismissal, leaves me bleeding and raw. But drawing her closer would destroy us both. I am shadow and steel, forged in battle and hardened by loss. She deserves more than my darkness.

Yet even as I think this, my traitor heart knows the truth. Eva has already breached every defense, slipped past every wall. She's in my blood now, as essential as air. Fighting this pull between us is like fighting gravity itself - impossible and ultimately futile.

My wings curl forward, unconsciously seeking something that isn't there. Someone who should be here, wrapped in their embrace. The emptiness aches like a physical wound.

I am lost. Lost to her. Lost to this feeling that threatens to consume everything I am.

I force myself to leave my study as midnight approaches, my wings heavy with exhaustion. The halls echo with my footsteps as I make my way toward my chambers, wanting nothing more than to collapse into?—

The scent hits me first. Clean soap and warm skin. Eva.

She emerges from around the corner, hair damp and loose around her shoulders, wearing only a thin robe that clings to her still-wet curves. My wings snap open, filling the narrow hallway as every rational thought evaporates from my mind.

Water droplets trail down her neck, following the path my tongue took days ago. Her skin glows in the lamplight, flushed pink from her bath. The robe gaps slightly at her chest, revealing the hollow of her throat where my mark has long since faded.

"Ridwan." Her voice is barely a whisper, but it ignites my blood like lightning.

My body moves without conscious thought. Three steps bring me to her, my wings curving forward to cage her against the wall. She gasps, the sound shooting straight through me. This close, I can see individual drops of water clinging to her eyelashes, count the rapid flutter of her pulse at her throat.

Just standing here, lost in the sight of her, I know one thing to be true - I can’t stay away from her. She has become as necessary as breathing, and fighting it only makes the hunger grow stronger.

I don’t know what to do.

So, I turn away, not knowing how to be out of control.

24

EVA

The rhythm of kneading dough usually soothes my racing thoughts, but today the familiar motions only fuel my frustration. My fingers dig into the soft mixture with more force than necessary, pressing and folding until the counter rattles.

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