Page 80 of Lost In Kakadu

Mackenzie whistled. “Cradle snatcher.”

“I never really noticed the age gap to be honest. Anyway, he was rich, owned a successful engineering company and he seemed ready to settle down. We shared a common interest in polo horses and … let’s just say, he swept me up with his charm. But more importantly, my friends were very jealous.”

Mackenzie raised his eyebrows. “You married him because your friends were jealous?”

“I’m not proud of it. But the answer is yes. Anyway, how do you know when you’re in love?”

“You just know.”

“But how?” She paused. “Maybe I was in love. October would’ve been our sixteenth anniversary.”

“Next you’ll tell me you were pregnant on your wedding day.”

She nodded. “Five months. But I was lucky.” She shrugged. “I was always chubby, and most people didn’t notice.”

“Don’t you feel like you wasted all those years?”

“Yes … and no. The first couple of years were good.”

Mackenzie shook his head.

She glared at him, not happy with his petulance. “What do you know about love? You’re gay.”

Mackenzie jerked back, glaring at her open-mouthed. “Are you implying it’s impossible to love in a same sex relationship?”

“Well, how can you?” She stammered. “It can’t go anywhere.”

“Where does it have to go? You want the love to stay right there.”

“No. I mean, it’s not like you can marry and have kids.”

“Jesus, Abi, you’re so fucking naive.”

His eyes were upon her, and the hurt flaring in his stunning irises cut to her core.

She was back to Abigail, back to her usual abhorrent behaviour thatshe’d tried so hard to eradicate. “Mack, I’m sorry. It’s just. I don’t know. I guess I don’t understand love. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, Mackenzie, you’re all I have.”

“You only have me, as you put it, because we’re stuck here together.”

“I know. But I like being stuck here with you. You’re the most beautiful, honest man I’ve ever known. You’re the first person I’ve met that I can really talk to. Please forgive me. I’m an idiot.”

“Let me explain something, Abi. Love doesn’t have any prejudices. Love just does. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to fall in love with a man. It just happened.”

He drove his hand through his hair. “As a matter of fact, I resisted it, pushed it away with all my might. But … it’s a persistent emotion. It got to the stage when I couldn’t function, I couldn’t focus on anything.”

Sucking on his lower lip, he looked over at Rodney’s grave. “Rodney was my only reason for living. My heart would constrict if I didn’t hear from him for a day and when I did speak to him, it was like a calming aura surrounded me, telling me everything would be okay.”

She had never known such a love, couldn’t even imagine it.

“Rodney and I became ultimate friends. Like one person in two bodies. We shared every milestone together, good and bad. My love for Rodney was an exposed raw passion and we showed our affection in public and in private like young lovers.” Tears pooled in Mackenzie’s eyes. “Every night I fell asleep in his arms, and I felt safe with him. And now he’s gone, and I have no-one.”

She knelt at his feet, wrapped her arms around him and gripped the chair. “You have me, I’m here.”

He continued. “We were like any married couple. We went out together, enjoyed each other’s company.”

She looked up at him as his shoulders heaved. A tear slid down his cheek, teetered momentarily on his thick beard and then disappeared into the dark hair above his scar. Abi’s heart ached at how much he was hurting.

She’d never experienced that kind of loss.

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