Page 43 of Kylan

Now I turned on the TV for company, for background noise.

When I wasn’t working, I used to go hang out on Oxford for the vibes, for the fun of it.

Now I didn’t want to see any of it.

I could go down and work. I could find some random guy to take my mind off things and earn a few quick bucks.

I didn’t want to do that either.

I didn’t want anyone else to touch me.

I considered messaging Leon and Marek, and so help me god, I almost did. A dozen times.

But they didn’t message me, so . . .

That told me all I needed to know.

I made a solo video. No dildo this time. Just a vibrating cock ring and some lube and a wank that made me feel worse.

I didn’t bother with dinner. I had no appetite. I considered going downstairs and hitting up a bar. Not for a john or a quick fuck. I knew a dozen guys who’d suck my dick for free.

But maybe a drink or a hit of something else to make me feel better.

Drink and drugs weren’t my thing. I’d promised Benjiand Fitch that I wouldn’t touch it. We’d promised each other, sworn to each other that we’d never.

And that was the only thing that stopped me.

I didn’t want to fall into that shit.

I just wanted to feel better. I wanted to forget everything for a while.

I stayed on the couch, watching shit on TV I didn’t give a fuck about, drowning out the noise. I woke up in the same spot when the sun came through the window.

Fuck.

I certainly felt no better, but I’d made it through the night. And I’d be with Leon and Marek today and they’d help me forget...

They’d take me to that place in my mind where none of the bullshit weighed me down.

I got my usual text from them just before eight. It was the rideshare collection point confirmation for 10 a.m.

Thank fuck.

I just had to hold it together until then.

Just two hours and I’d be in my happy place. I would beg them both to fuck me for hours. I wanted them to hold me, to adore me, to use me.

Fuck, I needed it.

Except when I got there, I was strung so tight I could barely breathe. I walked inside, and the second I saw them both—not just one, but both—I burst into tears.

SIX

MAREK

Seeing Kylan cry,seeing his whole body sag, his face crumple, broke my heart.

He sucked back a heaving sob, and putting his hand up, he took a small step backward, then another, before he turned to run.

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