Page 64 of Kylan

They both stared at me, so I swallowed hard and tried again. “The fact you’re married and so in love means the world to me. I mean fuck, you love each other so much you’re willing to include me in your lives, andthatmeans the world to me. I know I’m not explaining this correctly, but I just needed to acknowledge the fact you guys are married and I won’t ever not recognise that.” I put my hand to my forehead and laughed. “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. I just want you both to know that I understand there will be things inside your marriage that don’t have to include me andthat it’s okay. What we have is our own, and I’m okay with that.”

“Like grown-up daddy things?” Leon asked with a smile.

I swatted his arm. “Yes!” Then I shrugged. “Or something, I don’t even know. I just need you both to know that I won’t ever forget you are married. And it’s not a bad thing. I don’t feel excluded or left out. I actually love that you’re married and look at each other with such adoration. It makes me feel... safer.”

There. That was better.

Marek gave me a hug. “You’re such a sweet boy.”

“I love you both,” I whispered. “And I know this won’t be all sunshine and roses. But I will do my best to be everything you need.”

Leon gave me a side hug and kissed my temple. “We just need you. The rest will work itself out.”

“Are you tired, sweet boy?” Marek asked. “You’re still not fully recovered.”

I nodded. “I am tired still.”

“Then lie down and rest.”

“Will you lie with me?” I asked, looking at each of them. “Until I fall asleep?”

“Of course,” Marek said.

I noticed then, like really noticed, just how tired they both looked as well. Leon scooped me up so Marek and I could use his arm as a pillow, and Marek faced me, his arm across my chest.

They’d lost sleep because of me. They’d fought and yelled at each other because of me.

They’d foughtforme.

And lying there in that bed, in their arms, I felt something I’d never felt before.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Marek asked.

I let out a teary laugh. “This feeling. I just realised what this is. It feels like flying and floating and somersaults and swooping in my belly. It’s scary and wonderful, and I’ve never... I’ve never felt anything like it. Not from anyone. Not my family, not even Fitch and Benji. I love them, but this... this is like nothing I’ve ever felt.”

They both nuzzled in closer. Leon kissed my temple. “It’s love, Kylan.”

I nodded, a few happy tears forming but I didn’t want to cry anymore. I was done crying.

“I don’t know why I’m crying. I haven’t cried this much since I was very little. I don’t like crying. All these feelings...”

Leon pulled me in close and Marek sandwiched me, wrapping me up snug and safe.

“You’re allowed to cry,” Leon murmured. “You don’t have to lock down how you feel anymore.”

Marek looked so damn sad. “You’re allowed to feel. And it’s okay to be overwhelmed at first. You’re not used to being so vulnerable, and that’s scary. But darling, you’ll be okay. I promise.”

I nodded again. “Thank you.”

And the truth was, this emotional dump was an ugly onslaught. I’d struggled my whole life in keeping a lid onmy emotions, tamping them down, until I felt nothing at all.

And now I was surrounded, blanketed by such raw and honest love.

It was so foreign to me and overwhelming, like Leon had said.

And that was the thing... they understood. They knew. When I was reeling, out of control and aimless like a kite in the wind, while they were calm and in control, keeping me tethered. Not afraid to admit their fears and being vulnerable with me and ensuring that I felt safe.

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