Page 8 of Kylan

Which is why I almost died when they brought up the NDA and me knowing Nolan and Dominic. Panic had ripped through me, squeezing my heart to the point of physical pain.

I might have realised something then.

Something I’d witnessed recently with both Benji and Fitch... how they felt about Nolan and Dominic. How they’d both been so panicked at the idea of ending things with them, because they were in love.

It felt far too familiar.

Did I love Leon and Marek?

I loved what they did to me, what they did for me. But I wasn’t sure I was capable of love.

Or worthy.

And I highly doubted they’d reciprocate it.

They were in love with each other. They told each other often and it made my heart pang with jealousy and want.

I had no doubt that they loved their time with me, they loved fucking me, they loved the feminine-boy bodyI gave them. I was their toy thing, their object to adore and use as they saw fit.

They loved all those things.

But could they ever love me?

Could anyone?

Fitch knocked on my door, startling me, and poked his head in. “Hey.”

I was glad for the distraction before I could spiral any further. “Hey, wassup?”

“I finished filming my first solo,” he said, cringing. “Jesus. Will this get easier? Please tell me it’ll get easier.”

I smiled at him. “I’m sure it will.”

One corner of his mouth pulled down with uncertainty. “So, do I edit it? I did a quick check to make sure my face is kept out of it.”

We had the lighting and the angles all worked out. We knew where we could lie, kneel, and sit on the bed while keeping our faces out of it.

“I can take a look if you want,” I said.

I had no qualms in seeing them do their thing. We were all sex workers, and I’d seen them both work before. I’d seen their junk. Hell, I’d seen it all.

I had no issue with them watching my videos either.

I was used to being watched while I got railed. Both Leon and Marek took any inhibitions I had and whittled them down to nothing.

Fitch laughed. “If you wanna jerk off to my videos, you can pay to subscribe.”

I snorted. “Fuck off.”

His smile faded away with a sigh. “Well, Iguess if we’re gonna do this and make a fuckton of money, we need to get used to seeing each other’s videos, right?”

I shrugged. “It will help keep us familiar too, so we know not to double up and get repetitive. We should keep a list.”

“A list of what?”

“What we do, what clothes we wear, what toys we use, how long each video is.” I shrugged again. “That way we can see which are our most popular videos and see at a glance why it worked and maybe why some don’t.”

He studied me for a second. “You’re good at this. You know that, right?”

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