Page 2 of Rancher's Heart

I hadn’t needed anyone. When I had a desire for sex, I managed to find someone who was interested in a night or two, but nobody ever made my heart stop mid-beat, but I also hadn’t been looking for anyone beyond the one-night-stand girls. But seeing my business partners settle down, I wondered if I was missing out on something.There’s nobody nagging you about being out so late.The one side of my brain reminded me. The other side always had a rebuttal:there’s also nobody keeping your bed warm for you every night either.

Making my way up to my front door I pulled open the screen door and was met with the familiar screeching sound. It was better than an alarm system. No matter what I did, they always made noise from the day I’d hung the door, and I hardly noticed it anymore. It was just part of the charm that was my home. Reaching for the doorknob, I couldn’t grasp it tight enough to turn it. “Fuck,” I grumbled as I tried to tighten my grip, but finally gave up and opened it with my other hand.

Leaning against the door, I toed off my boots and hung my cowboy hat on the hat holder. Dropping the buckle, I’d won tonight on the table, I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a beer before heading to bed. Why was I taking a beer to my bed? All I wanted to do was sleep.

The scent of stale beer, cigarette smoke and sweat clung to me, so while all I wanted to do was flop into bed, I turned on the shower and stripped out of my clothes, fumbling with the buttons. I was tempted to just rip the shirt apart, but I was getting low on them because that’s usually what I did.

Turning on the shower with my good hand, I didn’t really want any more reminders that I was losing the use of my hand. Steam filled the stall as I walked in and while the water had been hot, the tile under my feet was cool. Warm water cascaded down my body, and my shoulder relaxed a bit as I let it hang down at my side. The lather of the soap on my body felt exhilarating as it washed the grime of the day away, replacing the smell of the beer garden with citrus and cedar. Running my hand along the shower wall, the roughness of the tile against my fingers triggered the feeling to return to them. I knew the relief would be short-lived but right now, it was welcome.

I could stand in here forever and not lose hot water, but the heat was making it hard to keep my eyes open, so I turned off the spray and let the water drip off my body before walking out of the big shower. I grabbed the towel off the hook and dried myself off. There was no reason to be modest in my own house, that I was alone in, so I wandered into my bedroom.

The large wooden timber bed frame took up almost one wall. I’d invested in California King beds in my house, so I could literally sleep in any room. I’d only ever slept in this one but I had other options if the mood struck.

The rest of the furniture matched the bed and I walked over to the dresser and pulled out the drawer, grabbing a pair ofboxer briefs. Slipping them on, I grabbed the beer I’d set down and headed for my bed.

Flopping back onto the pillow, more familiar tingling returned to the tips of my fingers. Someone might as well have been shoving pins and needles under my fingernails as I clenched and opened my fist. It didn’t help relieve the feeling.

Nothing did.

I’d tried pills, and I’d tried booze to numb the pain, but it was always there. Aching, going numb and then trying to come back to life when I laid down was getting really old.

The last doctor I’d seen told me I need to slow down, and look at having surgery. He wanted to open me up just to have a look around. Nothing showed on the x-rays that were done, but obviously, something from my fall a year ago hadn’t healed right. But like hell I was trusting that man again.

Slowing down wasn’t an option either. Things on the ranch were busier than ever, and my side business working with horses had taken off. Apparently, I’d proven myself when I’d tamed a few of the wild horses.

I’d rescued some weak, frail horses a few winters ago, and they hadn’t fully recovered to let them be back in the mountains fending for themselves. These were majestic creatures, and I’d hand-fed them when they were too weak to eat, made sure they were up walking so colic wouldn’t set in.

I thought back to those nights when I’d alternate walking one then the other, making laps around the indoor arena so much I was making grooves in the dirt. The two horses survived, and I’d broke them so they would tolerate the gentle touch of someone other than me. They were still unpredictable, so I didn’t break them to be ridden, but they would be good companion horses for ranches that needed them.

It wasn’t something I was proud of. Wild horses should stay wild, but I refused to watch them waste away to nothingso occasionally, throughout the year, I’d check on them and intervene when their welfare is in question. The homes I sent these horses to were huge ranches where the horses could wander and almost be as free as they once were. Any money I made off the wild horses went back into a charity I’d set up to make sure these horses could be free for as long as possible.

But like everything, the reaction to my so-called talent drew people from far and wide who needed assistance with troubled horses or the stubborn ones that refused to listen. Horses rolled in and out of my ranch on a regular basis, to the point I was having to turn down potential clients. Between my arm and my lack of time, I just couldn’t do it all right now.

Sitting up, my arm drew my thoughts from the horses and back to the situation at hand. My fingers were cold again, and my elbow ached. I wasn’t sure what was worse, it being numb or the feeling returning. At least when I couldn’t feel it, I didn’t hurt.

CHAPTER 2

ELLE

Another whoosh floated through the emergency department and I didn’t even have to turn to know there was another person walking through the door. Thank god it was the last night of the fair. I was so over this weekend.I felt like I was living in the dated pastel pink, fluorescent lit maze of hallways and exam rooms lately. My week off couldn’t come soon enough.

With my back to the reception desk, I stared at my computer, finishing my charting on the patient I’d just discharged. Thankfully, the cases so far tonight had been easy. Simple things like stitches, a few cases of food poisoning and one man who thought he was having a heart attack but it was a simple case of indigestion.

There were a few people in the waiting room, but the rows of chairs were mostly empty, and we were able to lower the lights in that area, trying to make it a little more comfortable for the people waiting.

“What the fuck? I don’t have to tell you any of that.” The man’s voice raised, and I slowly turned in my chair to look at the man whose raised voice had blasted through the peaceful calm of the ER.

“Sir, I need to know why you’re seeking medical attention before I can help you.” My co-worker, whose sweet voice should have calmed the situation, wasn’t having that effect.

“My personal information isn’t any of your business, you’re just trying to scam me, maybe lock me in the mental unit. I want to talk to someone who isn’t a damn child.” The man stood up so fast he knocked over the chair he’d been sitting on. “There has to be a more competent person than this twelve-year-old.” He points at my co-worker, who, in fact, was twenty-two and had just graduated with her degree and wasn’t as jaded with the career as most of us senior nurses were. “I want a doctor.”

Saving my work, I closed the program and stood from my chair.

“Yeah, you, you’re a doctor, right?” He pointed at me, nodding like a bobblehead on the dash of a car driving down a bumpy road.

“No, I’m not, and I’m also much older and way more jaded than Sarah here. So, my advice to you is, pick up that chair, sit your rear end down and finish telling her your info or you can walk your ass out of my ER escorted by security.” I leaned over the desk, talking only as loud as he could hear me.

“I’m bleeding, lady.” He whined and held out the palm of his hand, which was wrapped in a dingy, greasy white t-shirt. Quite possibly the one he should have been wearing.

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