Page 12 of Rancher's Pride

Holding that little baby in my arms even for that brief moment stirred something I’d thought was gone. Being a dad wasn’t something I’d thought much of. Nobody needed me to bring kids into this world. My screwed up family wasn’t exactly the environment I wanted kids in, but I’d let myself imagine for a second what it would be like with Fallon.

“Care to join me outside?” Kipp stood by the door like a centurion, his arms crossed and chest puffed out like he was ready to have a fight in a bar. His frown seemed as unyielding as stone, as if a chisel would be needed to crack him open.

“Kipp, it’s snowing like a bastard.” I pointed out the window behind him and threw my hands up in the air. Brushing past him, all I wanted to do was sleep. I knew he wouldn’t give this up until he hit me, so Iwalked to the door.

It always seemed like he grew half a foot when he stood up straight. I wasn’t small, but Kipp could make himself seem larger than life. “Well, I’m not going to fight you inside. They’ll hear us.” He took a step closer to me.

“Fine, I don’t care. Let’s get this over with.” I pulled open the door to the porch, but he didn’t move. What he did was walk away, grab a beer, and toss it at me. Scrambling, I leaned left and grabbed it just before it hit the floor.

“My sister?” Two words I knew he’d say whenever he found out. I figured he’d say it while smashing his fist into my face, so this was the upside of this conversation.

Slowly cracking the beer, I plopped down in a chair. “It just… happened.” It wasn’t a good excuse, it wasn’t even a terrible excuse. “I’m sorry.” That was a downright lie. “No, I’m not sorry and I’m not sorry we didn’t tell you. It’s none of your business who your adult sister slept with. Kipp, you’re like a brother to me, but Fallon has never been like a sister.” I trudged back into the living room, still sure he’d try to land a punch.

“How many times did it just happen?” He took a seat in his chair and I shook my head. Maybe he wouldn’t hit me, but this was somehow worse. He wasn’t going to let it go.

“Several times.” I lifted the beer to my lips and swigged a mouth full.

“Several.” Kipp shook his head and sighed. “God, Iwish you’d two had worked out. It would have saved her from whatever hell she went through.”

“You wouldn’t have been mad?” I arched my brow and smirked. He was upset enough three years after the fact, I would have hated to see him back then.

“Oh no, I still would have been pissed. I mean, I’m madder than hell now too, but fuck, at least with you, she would have been home and safe. She wouldn’t be showing up in the middle of the night, with a busted lip and bruised face. And there’s no telling what scars we can’t see.” He ran his hand through his hair and I could see how much her suffering hurt him. Not having his sisters here was the one thing he figured he’d failed at. No matter how many times he’d been told that the girls were all adults, he was disappointed in himself that he couldn’t keep his family together.

“I would have done anything to keep her safe.”

But I didn’t. I could have stopped it, and I didn’t.

Regret ate me alive from the inside. I picked at the paper around the glass bottle. It’s what we did. We kept people safe by any means necessary. But the one person I should have kept safe, I didn’t. When I’d seen her three years ago, she’d broken up with the guy, said she was done. She’d wanted to come home, and I wanted her here. But when she wanted everyone to know about us, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t risk losing my best friend, the place I called home and the empire we were building. My loyalties weren’t in the right place. It was my fault. I had a chance, and I didn’t get her out.

“Don’t you think you robbed the cradle there, pal?” Kipp asked, lifting his beer to take a pull.

“You, of all people, want to talk about robbing the cradle. That’s rich. Shall we discuss your twenty-three-year-old wife? If I robbed the cradle, you robbed the womb.” I looked over at Kipp and he was quiet before nodding his head.

“Fiancée, but point taken. Nash, it won’t happen again.” He didn’t blink, he didn’t break the death stare he had on me. It was exactly the thing I was worried about five years ago. “She’s damaged enough. I won’t have you or anyone else for that matter, touching her, you hear me?”

“It won’t happen again.” I assured him, but I already knew it was a lie, because if she would have me back, I’d be her man for the rest of my life, even if I didn’t deserve her.

The door to Fallon’s room opened, interrupting our conversation, and Julie came out holding the tiny, bundled up baby. She cautiously walked over to the rocking chair and sat down, never once taking her eyes off the baby. “Three grandchildren, soon to be four. Miller look at our family growing. Wherever you are, I hope you can see this.” She looked up at the picture on the wall of her late husband with tears in her eyes. “God, I miss you.” A tear trickled down her cheek and she looked at Kipp, smiling. “He’s here, I can feel him.” I looked over at Kipp, who was staring at the picture of his father as well.

Kipp Sr had been a force, and it rocked the family when he died. The glue that held this group together had let go, and life hadn’t ever been the same again. His only son tried his best to keep it together, but the hurt he carried was too great, even for him. Tayla and Lark threw themselves into their rodeo careers and Fallon disappeared. What must it be like to love someone so much that missing them hurts too much to carry on? Julie died a little too that day, but in the last few months, the spark had come back just a little.

“Does she have a name?” I asked, hoping to break the sadness that had crept over the room.

“Lottie Nora.” Julie beamed as I moved so she could have my seat. “You did very well there, Nash. Lottie looked good in your arms.” She smiled and looked up at her granddaughter.

“Oh, I don’t think I’m cut out to be a dad. I’ll just be the fun uncle that gets the kids out of trouble.”

“More like in trouble.” Kipp muttered before taking another drink. Julie laughed, and I couldn’t deny that he was probably right.

A noise from the hallway made us all turn. “Where’s Mommy?” Josie asked, looking at a room full of strangers. She carried her mother’s fearlessness, that much I was sure of. Setting my beer down, I walked over to her and crouched down.

“Mommy just had a baby and is sleeping right now. Do you want to see your new sister?” I reached out for her and she walked into my arms. Lifting the little girl,I walked over to where Julie sat. “Her name is Lottie.” She leaned over and gave the baby a gentle kiss on her forehead, before wrapping her arms around my neck and snuggling into me. “Want to go back to bed?”

Josie shook her head no, so I took a seat on the couch and grabbed the blanket off the back and put it around her. It didn’t take long and her eyes dropped closed and she sighed like this was the best place in the world to be.

“Well, this looks cozy,” Nora said when she finally came out of the room and looked at the five of us. She looked tired, her eyes heavy, as she sat down next to Kipp, who was snoring, and then looked at Julie, who was engrossed in the face of the baby in her arms. I didn't know what I was doing, but as long as Josie stayed asleep, I wasn't moving.

“Nash, you all right?” Nora asked, snuggling closer to Kipp. It seemed like instinct. He moved his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders. What must it be like to let someone in so much that just being close to them made life better? I’d only ever known fighting and slamming of doors. There was no affection like the two across from me had.

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