Page 4 of Rancher's Pride

He let go of me and gripped the bottom of my stolen shirt, pulling it over my head and dropping it to the floor. “God, Fallon.” He groaned as he lowered his head, flicking his tongue over my nipple while pinching the opposite one. I let my eyes drift closed, allowing the pleasure to consume me. “Nope Toots, open your eyes. It’s been two long years since we’ve had this time together. Open your eyes and watch me.”

As Sunday loomed, a growing pit of anxiety filled my stomach. This was too perfect, too amazing. It was time for us to crash back to earth and to reality. Laying in bed tracing my finger over his chest, I wanted this forever, in the open, not hiding what we were. “Where do we go from here, Nash? You tracked me down, fucked me all weekend, and now what?” The silence in the room was louder than my thoughts. It drowned them out.

His shaky breath did nothing to ease the fear. “Come back home, we can continue getting to know one another and when the time’s right, we can test the waters about making it public.”

I'd have to be his secret, again.

“I don’t want to hide Nash. I want everyone to know we’re together.” Propping myself up on my elbow, I looked at his eyes, and furrowed brows, which were his tell-tale signs that he was frustrated. I’d seen it many times over the years and knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Toots, you don’t know what I would be giving up if this all went south. It’s my livelihood, my family, my heart. As much as I think we’re good together, I just don’t see a way around this.” He tightened his griparound me. Like that was going to distract me from questioning him any further.

“There is no way around this you just have to trust your heart, Nash. You and me. You say we’re good together, but you have no faith in us.” I tried to keep my voice calm. The last thing I wanted to do was cry. I hated that my anger manifested in tears before I could get spitting mad.

“You’re young, Fallon. I don’t expect you to get it.” His dismissal was like a punch to the gut.

“Young? Are you forgetting I’m twenty-five?” My voice cracked, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my tears again.

“You ran off after Miller died. Are you telling me that was the mature thing to do?” His words filled with a snarky attitude as he let go of me, rolling his eyes, and sat up against the headboard with a sigh. The tattoos he’d added to his now full sleeve and chest were distracting me. I’d also memorized them over the last two glorious days, but right now I needed to be and resist so that I could get everything off of my chest. “You left a note telling me you needed to go live life without the black cloud of the Diamond M over your head and specifically said not to look for you. Everything was gone, Fallon. I had an engagement ring burning a hole in my pocket and you were just gone, as if you’d never even been there in the first place.”

“I was grieving my father, you asshole.” I rolled out of his arms and stood beside the bed, not caring that Iwas naked or the fact that he looked at me like he wanted to devour me. “You knew what was going on. You were there supporting me, making love to me, seeing I was dealing with shit and you have the gall to tell me I was being immature?” Leaning down, I grabbed my discarded clothes.

“Wait, what do you mean, an engagement ring?” I froze and looked at the man lying in the bed, his face etched with pain as he thought of those days.

“I wanted you to be my wife, live our lives together, have kids together. But you were in a different place, I guess.” He sat up, running his hands through his hair before leaning over the bed and grabbing his underwear.

Stomping to the bathroom, I looked in the mirror at myself. I could have been his wife, I should have been his wife, and now it was too late. I thought as I wiped at the days old mascara under my eyes.

Tears weren’t an option here. I was good enough for him then, but not now? Maybe his mother was right, everything that the Diamond M ranch, now the Diamond 5 touched turned to dust eventually. She was the one who encouraged me to leave. She was also the only person who’d known about Nash and I. And she still encouraged me to leave, and spread my wings away from Montana and the ranch.

Coming out of the bathroom fully dressed, I pulled the zipper closed on my purse and headed for the door. “Fallon, where are you going? We’re in themiddle of nowhere.” I heard his arm fall back onto the bed.

“We’re maybe three miles from a resort. I can call a ride share and they will be here in ten minutes. Or I can walk up there and get one.” Pulling open the door, I walked out into the hallway.

“Like fuck you are!” He yelled behind me.

It didn’t take long, and he had his bag tossed over his shoulder. Without a word, he walked out to the truck and started it. Turning, I looked back at the beautiful house and wondered what it would have been like to leave this weekend happy and in love instead of fuming at each other.

Get your head out of the clouds. He’s not capable of love.My brain screamed at me and I pulled the door closed.

The drive back to my apartment was silent and the tension so thick you’d need a chain saw to cut it. A knife wouldn’t be enough.

Nash pulled to a stop in front of my building. Without another word, I got out and barely got the door closed before he sped off. Tears filled my eyes and my heart was broken once again.

It had taken me months to forget his touch, his scent and him, but I’d done it once, I could do it again. Wiping my eyes on my sleeve, I fumbled with my keys and managed to get into my apartment without any of my nosy neighbors wanting to make small talk.

My purse landed on the floor with a thud and I walked to my bed, flopping down and finally lettingmyself cry. This was the perfect ending to a horrible week. Between the stables being raided and Nash I wanted to hide from the world and never show my face again.

This was the last time Nash Powers would take space in my head.

I crawled under the covers and hugged the extra pillow to me. Suddenly, I was happy we hadn’t spent the time here. Everything would smell like him, remind me of him, and I didn’t need any more reminders.

Three weeks passed, and the ache of Nash leaving ebbed and flowed. Some days were normal and some days I barely functioned, but I’d had more good days than bad lately and I was on my way to forgetting him for good.

Twelve tests. Twelve pregnancy tests sat on my bathroom counter. Double pink lines on some, pregnant spelled out on others, the plus symbol on the others. I’d placed my palms on the counter and I bent over at the waist, not sure if I should throw up, or pee on more tests. Bile rose in my throat and I quickly moved to the toilet. Was this morning sickness or the shock of what was actually staring me in the face? My heart raced, I felt light-headed, and I let my head fall onto the toilet seat. Not the most sanitary thing to leanon, but I didn’t think I could move. Finally accepting the obvious, I let my tears fall silently. I wanted to scream, to hit something, but all I could do was cry.

I needed a plan, but what was that plan? Call Nash and tell him he was going to be a dad? Was it even his? Make the decision myself and call a clinic? Have this baby and be a single mom? Every thought ran through my head, and every idea sounded right and wrong at the same time.

“Lynne, you here?” Andrew’s voice cut through my home, I hated when he used my middle name. Of course he used the key I hadn’t gotten back and just let himself in. Before I could get off the floor and out of the bathroom, he found me. Concern riddled his face as he looked at me. Just as he reached me, he saw the tests. “Holy shit.”

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