Page 23 of Bartender's Surprise Baby

The tension I didn’t realize had been holding my shoulders back snapped, and I was able to relax a little. “I’m sorry, Levi. It was just…really bad, and I couldn’t do anything but curl up on the sofa. I slept on and off, hardly moving just to keep fromgetting sick.” I shuddered just thinking about how awful I felt over the past twenty-four hours.

“Are you feeling better now?”

I shrugged. “Better than that? Yeah, but that’s not saying much.” We stared at each other for a long time, both of us seeming unsure what to say. I hated this. Just days ago, things were wonderful between us. We spent our time together laughing and getting to know each other, having amazing sex, and just enjoying connecting with another person. “What’s going on, Levi?” I couldn’t live like this, constantly questioning if he was here because he actually cared about me or because I was carrying his child.

“Fuck if I know,” he admitted with a dry laugh. Levi sat back against the sofa and took my legs, placing them in his lap. His hands absently stroked my legs, his gaze on some spot just beyond my coffee table. “I have no fucking clue, Rob. I thought taking a few days to think about it would give me some clarity, but it hasn’t. At all.”

My heart sank. I knew what that meant, even if he wasn’t ready to say it yet. “Oh. Okay.”

“The only thing I know,” he went on as if he hadn’t heard my quiet words, “is that I needed to see you. I needed to make sure you were all right. I just—fuck—I needed to be here with you, Rob.”

My heart pounded in my chest, and I actually heard the blood rushing through my veins. His words were unintentionally sweet, sweeter than anything any man had ever said to me. “I don’t know what I’m doing either, but I know what I want.” You, I wanted to say. Instead, I said, “I want this baby.”

He stared at me, his expression completely unreadable. “You expect me to walk away?” He sounded hurt, and that wasn’t my intention.

“No. You’re a great guy, Levi, and I know you don’t want to walk away from this responsibility,” I admitted out loud. “But I also recognize that this might not be something you want for yourself or your life. We haven’t been seeing each other all that long—not even long enough to actually define what this is. But I know that this baby, that being a mother, is what I want. And if you don’t want it, I get it.” I looked away to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. I wouldn’t do that to him—make him feel manipulated by my tears.

Levi said nothing for a long time, his jaw clenched tight and his eyes hard, unreadable when I searched his handsome face. “And if I do want it?”

I let my heart dare to hope just for a moment. Did he mean he wanted it with me or just the baby? Did it matter when he’d be giving my baby a father? Right. “If you do, then we’ll figure out how to do this together.” Doing this with a partner would be easier.

At least until he moves on, the cynic who lived in my heart reminded me unnecessarily.

“Okay. Then what do we do now?”

I knew what he was asking because it was the question that burned deep in my gut. I wanted the answer just as much as I didn’t want to hear it. “Well, I think you’re a great guy, sweet and sexy, and if things work out between us, that would be amazing. But if it doesn’t, then you’ll give me good memories of dating while I dive into single motherhood.”

He laughed. “You’ve got it all figured out.”

“Nope,” I replied, letting the ‘p’ pop loudly. “But I know what I want, so I’m figuring it out as I go.” With or without him.

Levi nodded as he studied me. “Do you want to do this with me or without me?”

“I want to do it with you, but only if that’s what you want. I don’t want to suffocate under the weight of being somebody’sburden or obligation. I want someone who’s here because there’s no place else they’d rather be.” That had always been my dream for myself, and it was also what I wanted for my baby.

His green eyes bore into my soul for so many moments that I could hardly breathe. “Then I’m here, Rob. And make no mistake, this is right where I want to be.”

Oh.

Wow.

I had no response for that.

14LEVI

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Rob asked the question for the third time in five minutes, her expression a mix of worry and reassurance.

I stopped and turned to her, dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt, with an oversized cardigan on top that gave her jade eyes an otherworldly quality. She'd made an effort with her hair, removing the messy bun in favor of soft waves. She was always beautiful, but today she was stunning.

"Are you sure?" I turned the question around on her because she was the one feeling nervous. Although the color had returned to her cheeks and she wore a thin layer of makeup, my worry ran deep. I still hadn't gotten over the sight of her pale and sickly, barely able to stand up under her own energy, and no matter what she said, I was going to worry. "Well?"

Rob shrugged. "It's jellybean counting; I'll be fine. I swear." She held up her index finger and made an 'X' shape over her heart.

"Okay," I agreed. "And it's guessing how many jellybeans are in the jar. We're not dumping it out and counting, you know that, right, Rob?"

"What's the difference?" she asked flippantly.

"About two hours."

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