Page 30 of Bartender's Surprise Baby

Xavier whistled. “She seemed pretty upset when she left, but more defeated and hurt than angry.”

“Fuck.” I raked first one hand and then the other through my hair as if that could undo all the mistakes I made today. “We’re having a baby.” It was the first time I said the words out loud, and I waited for the panic to come, but it didn’t. There was fear, but it wasn’t about being a father—it was about being a good father.

“Holy shit. A baby?”

I nodded. “It was a shock, but Rob wants to do this.”

“Of course she does. She’s been a mom since she landed in New York, helping all the models who cycled through, making things easier for them. Her heart was too big for our industry.” He stopped talking abruptly and watched me. “What do you want?”

“I wasn’t sure at first, but I’ve been fooling myself for a while now. I want her, and I want this baby.” Was it too late to get everything I wanted? The fact that she took off instead of staying to fight it out wasn’t a good sign, but that didn’t mean I was done fighting.

Not by a long shot.

The only thing I needed to figure out was whether I was going to her tonight (right now) or whether she needed time to cool off. Maybe in the morning, I’d have the words I needed to say to her laid out perfectly, the words that would get her to see how much she meant to me.

“Whatever you do,” Xavier began, “don’t wait.”

I looked up and frowned. “Are you a mind reader now?”

He smiled and tapped his temple. “I know the mind of a straight man well,” he answered with a grave expression. “You want to get everything just perfect, and you want her to be in aheadspace that’ll be more receptive to whatever perfect speech you come up with.”

I shrugged. “Not the way I would’ve said it, but yeah.”

Xavier smiled, but it slowly faded. “Don’t wait,” he advised again.

“Why not?” I was curious why he thought it was a bad idea.

“Because if you give her eight hours, twelve hours to get used to living without you, she will. Don’t give her time to make plans that don’t include you, time to figure out how she’s going to do it all on her own. Every minute you give her is another minute for her to remember how badass she is.”

I frowned. “I don’t want her to be with me because she needs me.”

Xavier smiled. “Look, Levi, I know she can do this without you. I know that she’s an incredible woman who’s going to kick motherhood’s ass. You know that too. But a woman like Rob—once she sets her mind on a path, well, that’s it for you.”

My heart donkey-kicked my chest at those words. Suddenly, I understood what he was saying: Once she started envisioning a world where she was without me, she wouldn’t even consider going back. “Got it. Let’s go.” I smacked my hands together, eager now to get to Rob. “Come on!”

Xavier took his time crossing the bar before he pushed the door open, staring at me with open amusement as I fumbled with locking the door. “Relax.”

I glared at him. “Easy for you to say. Need a ride?”

“Nope. I have a rental, and I’ve booked an adorable B&B, so you two do whatever it is you need to do to figure your mess out. Tell Rob that I’ll expect all the details in the morning.” He gave me a small finger wave. “Good luck,” he called out from the driver’s seat of his rented SUV, and then drove off.

Less than five minutes later, I stood on Rob’s doorstep with my fist hovering over the door, on the verge of chickening out.No chickening out. I tightened my fist and knocked, holding my breath until the door swung open and a teary-eyed beauty glared at me.

“Levi. What are you doing here?”

I gave myself a few seconds to soak in the sight of her before taking a step forward. “You left before we got a chance to talk.”

“I figured we said everything we needed to say,” she shot back between sniffles.

Her tears gutted me, but I couldn’t let myself be deterred, so I took another step forward, and another, until I was over the threshold. “You figured wrong. That was just the beginning.”

“I don’t want to fight with you, Levi.” She seemed exhausted, and there was a small part of me that felt bad, but Xavier’s words echoed in my mind: Don’t wait.

“I’m not here to fight, Rob. I want to talk. Just talk.”

She nodded and closed the door, wrapping her arms around herself as if she needed protection. “Fine. Let’s talk.”

“You were right,” I began, sitting on the sofa and tugging on her hand so that she sat beside me. “I didn’t give you any indication what I was feeling because I didn’t know.” I blew out a breath. “That’s bullshit. I knew what I was feeling, and I kept telling myself it was too soon. That I couldn’t possibly be feeling what I thought I was feeling. That I wasn’t father material.”

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