Page 39 of Willow Vale

I closed my eyes before I could unlock the door.

“But I…want you to.”

The silence that stretched between us was drowned out by the rustling of dead leaves getting blown by the wind.

“Why? So you can be miserable on your own? Yeah, no.”

I turned before he could reach for me. “Please. Just go home, Travis. I really need to be alone right now. I know you hate that, but it’s what I need. I also think I need to be alone until I can figure out what to do with Irene. How to help her. I can’t do that if I’m preoccupied with other things.”

“Other things,” he repeats lowly. “Like me? Is that what you mean?

Tears stung my eyes. “I don’t know. All I know is that my mother almost died today, and I was…out all night.”

Travis shook his head, looking almost pained. “Okay, stop. What happened tonight was not your fault.”

I forced myself to look away from him, as if by doing that he wouldn’t see the tears rolling down my cheeks. “I’ve been taking care of her my whole life, and she’s never ended up in the hospital before.Never. Because I’ve made it a point to be here. She’s even said it before, how much she depends on me to be okay.”

“Delilah.” He cupped my face to force me to look up into his pleading blue eyes, as if he was desperately trying to get through to me. Like I was shards of a beautiful stained-glass window, and he was trying to figure out how to put them all back together. “That was never fair to you. Tell me you understand that.” When I couldn’t bring myself to answer him, he said calmly, “You’re under a lot of stress right now, but tomorrow after you get some rest everything will be better. You’ll see. And you’re not alone. I’m here. My parents are here, and we’ll get through this.”

“No, I don’t need to rest. What I need…is for my mother to be okay. And I’m not sure if that will ever be possible after tonight.” My voice cracked as I admitted what I’d been thinking all night. “I should have been home. I should have been with her, instead of being selfish by being with you.”

Travis shook his head. “No. Don’t do that. This isn’t on you. This is heraddiction. It’s Irene not wanting help when it was offered to her. That’s not onyou.And you’re not fucking selfish for wanting to be with me or for going to college. You have every right to live your life how you want, don’t you see that?”

He pulled me into a hug and held me until I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. Until my lungs burned with the tears that I tried to force down but couldn’t. I allowed myself the chance to hug him one last time before letting him go.

And then I did the second hardest thing I’d ever had to do, because I didn’t know what to do anymore. All I knew was that I couldn’t burden him or his family with any more of my baggage. My tragically messed up life that didn’t truly feel like my own to begin with.

“I’m sorry, Travis…”

CHAPTER 16

Lila

It was late Wednesday afternoon,and I was restocking a few glasses on the shelves when I heard Travis cursing from the kitchen.

I peered through the window to find him hunched over the worktable where Manny was usually stationed at. He was clearly struggling to do something.

“What are you doing?”

He startled slightly and looked over his shoulder, struggling and failing to wipe away the annoyed scowl on his face before he looked to the clock on the wall. “You’re early.”

“Hello to you too.” I smiled as I pushed the swinging door open and walked into the kitchen. “Desi asked me to come in since she’s going to receive a big delivery to stock up for the carnival this weekend. What’s wrong?”

“Manny forgot he had jury duty this morning, so he won’t be back in time to prep before we open. I’m trying to do that to help him out. That is, I would if I could read the man’s damn handwriting.”

“Can I take a look?”

Travis blinked. “Be my guest.”

“It can’t be that bad.” I glance down at the instructions Manny must have written for these types of situations when he couldn’t be here. In Travis’s defense, the chicken scratch handwriting made me momentarily wonder if the instructions were even in English. They were.

Travis scoffed. “Told you.”

“I’m sure we can figure it out together. Is that the word fish scratched out, or…”

“I think it’s a different four-letter word,” he answered dryly as he looked over my shoulder.

“Why am I not surprised? You know, for such a quiet man he sure has a potty mouth.”

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