Page 53 of Unhinged Love

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” I quickly add, before either of them can say anything. “It’s not like that with us. But just because I don’t want to fuck her doesn’t mean I don’t want her forgiveness.”

Who am I trying to convince? Because like it or not, fucking her is something I could get used to. Losing myself in her…

“I only want to make it right,” I tell them with a sigh. “That’s all. And if you could help me with that, it would mean everything. Like I said, I can’t change what happened, but if there’s anything I can do to help her, I want to. How can I try if she won’t even talk to me?”

Wren chews her lip before heaving a sigh, like she’s afraid she’s going to regret this. “We were already going to offer to drive her to school tomorrow,” she says while Maya folds her arms again. “We can try to talk to her. At least remind her you’re sorry and want to try to make it up to her.”

“But I am not forcing her,” Maya warns. “So don’t even think it’s going to be that easy.”

“I don’t think anything is going to be easy,” I reply, and that’s the truth. I know better by now. “Just… anything you can do.”

Because I can’t stand the memory of the hatred burning in her eyes when she was eating. There I was, doing everything I could to make her face me, and when she did, there was nothing I could do but wither under the heat of her glare.

It’s still weighing on me on the drive home. There is nothing like knowing how deeply a decent, innocent person is hurting, and knowing I’m the one who made it happen.

She didn’t deserve it.

She’s going to face a whole new level of shit from people around school if she even bothers going back. I can only hope the girls convince her that it’s the only thing she can do. That hiding is the same as giving up, and giving up means letting the bastards win.

It’s a shame I’m one of the bastards.

I’ve only been gone less than an hour, but a lot of changes have gone down since then. I figured she would find something to shove in front of the busted door I need to get fixed, but instead she took her bedding to one of the spare rooms. There’s a light coming from a door down the hall, while her bedroom is dark.

She must hear my footsteps, or maybe she was listening for the truck. Either way, a text comes through while I’m standing in the hallway, feeling like I should say something to her, wondering if she would listen.

Don’t even think about screwing around with my room. And don’t bother kicking this door in, because I’ll just move to another room.

Instead of texting back, I walk up to the door she’s locked behind. “I get why you want to shut me out.” It’s actually getting easier to talk to a door. I’ve done so much of it since last night. “But you can’t shut me out forever. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make things right. I only need you to tell me what you want me to do.”

This time, she doesn’t keep me waiting. Another text comes through right away.I’m pretty sure you don’t actually want to know what I wish you would do right now.

What is it going to take? All I can do as I go to my room and hope the girls meant it when they said they would help bring her around. I will do whatever it takes to get through to her—but first, she needs to stop wishing me dead. Otherwise, I might as well keep talking to doors for all the difference it will make.

TWENTY-TWO

Elliana

I’m actually kind ofsurprised he let me sleep through the night without kicking the door in again or doing something else to terrorize me. The house is silent when I wake up on Thursday morning.

It’s almost eerie. Right away, questions hit me from all sides, and it’s exhausting. I just opened my eyes, and my mind is already spinning. There’s no way to get a break from it.

Is he going to school today? Or is he going to shadow me around? I know he doesn’t really care how I feel. He’s scared I’ll retaliate. That’s why he won’t leave me alone. He has to think I’m stupid if he wants me to believe anything different.

I’m not sure how I would retaliate; unless I told our parents, which I would definitely not do. For one thing, it would be too humiliating—I can’t even imagine how I would explain it. Why he had those pictures in the first place. Why I didn’t say something a long time ago? I could have ended all of this before it started by going straight to Paul and telling him everything.

So why didn’t I? Because I was trapped. None of this is my fault—I can’t blame myself for anything I did, the choices I made. If I told Paul, Carter would have found a way to get back at me, obviously. And it would’ve been brutal. Worse than things already are.

Only now I have to show my face sometime, right? So it’s not Carter’s bullying I have to worry about. It’s everybody else.

It’s almost funny, the way my phone rings while I’m imagining the misery I know I’m going to face once I step foot out of the house. I don’t even want to answer when I see it’s only Wren calling. As much as I need kindness, I don’t know if I have the energy to handle it. Of course, that makes me feel like the most ungrateful person in the entire world, but I can’t help it. I never knew it took so much energy to be pitied.

“Hey, you.” All right, at least she doesn’t sound like she’s choosing every word carefully in case I break down. That’s a good start. “We thought we would give you a ride to school today, me and Maya. Carter already knows. You won’t even have to sit in the car with him.”

So they’ve been talking about me? I can’t even think about that right now. Not when the idea of showing my face at school is almost enough to paralyze me. “I don’t think I can go today.”

“You can’t skip again. It will end up tanking your grades.”

Like I care about grades. Like I care about anything. “I just don’t think I can handle it. You know how it’s going to be.”

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