Page 21 of Unhinged Love

“Doesn’t she look great?” Maya appears beside me, like my own personal guard dog. As grateful as I am, there’s a part of me that wishes she wouldn’t do it. This is only going to cause more trouble once the party is over.

He doesn’t say another word. The only thing that comes out of him is a growl before he walks away, which means I can release the breath I was holding.

“You do look great,” Maya reminds me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze. I’ve had more physical contact tonight than I have in the past few years combined, I think. I wish it didn’t make me so uncomfortable.

“I don’t know about you…” a guy I assume is Tucker creeps up behind her and grabs her around the waist, lifting her off her feet while she squeals. “But I could go for a swim.”

Let’s see if she can float!

The memories slam into me, making my head spin and my stomach churn. All that high-pitched laughter. All the screams and the cheers.I’m drowning and they don’t care. I’m going to die, and they don’t care.

“Come out with us,” Wren urges, jerking her thumb toward the doors leading out to the patio. They’re sitting open so people can move in and out of the kitchen, like a never-ending flood. Paul is going to be so pissed if he finds out about this. How in the hell does Carter hope to keep it a secret?

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Wren insists, while Briggs pulls her toward the door and Tucker does the same with Maya. I can’tmove—my feet are rooted to the floor, my fingers curling around the cup so tight I’m probably going to smash it.You’re safe. You’re okay.

“Go ahead,” I call out in a voice that doesn’t even sound like mine. It sounds strained, tight, like the cries of a dying animal. “I’m going to hang out in here.”

What I’m going to do is go back to my room, because this was a mistake in the first place. There’s too much skin everywhere. I don’t know where to look. I don’t know how to act. Everybody’s standing around having their conversations like it’s totally normal for a guy to walk through the room with his dick bouncing around. My skin is on fire.

It’s desperation that makes me look out through the back window—but all that gets me is a view of a topless girl pouring beer over her boobs so a guy can lick them clean while a handful of people laugh and cheer him on. This is normal?

I am not cut out for this. I know the girls meant well, but they don’t get me if they think I’ll be comfortable here. At least I can tell myself I tried as I duck my head and start fighting my way through the crowd. It’s a solid mass of people, and I don’t think they mean to be in my way, but that doesn’t make a difference. They are. They’re making it impossible for me to get where I desperately need to be.

“What are you in such a hurry for?” A deep voice comes from in front of me, slightly slurred, but it’s not unkind.

Right now, all I’m looking at is a bare chest, so I force myself to lift my gaze until I’m looking into a pair of dark eyes belonging to a very tall, tan guy with a quick smile and dimples that flash as he studies me. “Here I am, trying to get through this crowd so I can say hi, and you’re trying to sneak past me.”

I feel like such a fraud. He can’t possibly mean it. If he does, he’s wasting his time. If he knew who I was, if he knew the waypeople treat me, he wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me.

Before I can pull in enough breath to say a word, he puts a hand on my hip and guides me—or shoves me—into a corner just inside the kitchen doorway. He’s so tall, so broad, I can barely see anything around him. And nobody can see me.

“What’s your name?” His forearms are propped to either side of me, and he leans down, wearing a look that leaves nothing to the imagination.

“I…” I can’t breathe. He’s too close. “Please…” My free hand presses against the firm muscle of his chest so I can give him a pointless little push he doesn’t seem to feel. “Can you back up? Please.”

“Oh, come on. Loosen up. Have more of that drink,” he murmurs, chuckling as he lowers his head until his lips almost touch my earlobe. “Then we can have some fun. That’s what we’re here for, right?” Instead of swatting my hand away, he takes hold of my wrist. I don’t realize what he’s doing until his bulge is in my palm, held in place by his hand.

Let’s see if she can float! She needs a bath!

Too much. All too much. My heart is going to explode out of my chest if it doesn’t stop beating first. All I hear is the drumbeat of my pulse in my ears and the laughter trickling down from years ago. I was drowning, and nobody cared. They only laughed harder.

I’m drowning now. “Stop—stop—” The cup falls from my hand, icy drink splashing my feet, and the world is starting to go dark around the edges of my vision. I’m too dizzy to stand. My legs start to give out, andI can’t breathe!“Stop!”

“Hey. Hey! The fuck is wrong with you?” Sudden shouting close by reaches my awareness before the stranger in front of me is pulled away. I barely realize it’s Carter who did it, Carter who’s shouting, before he punches the guy and makes him stumbleagainst the refrigerator. “Leave her alone. Can’t you take a hint?” His fists are curled tight.

I don’t know if it’s fear or relief, but my legs are too weak to hold me up, and I start to slide down the wall.

“Hey. Take it easy.” Carter takes me under the arms and pulls me to my feet, supporting me while I gasp for breath. He studies my face, brows drawn together over blue eyes filled with concern. “What’s wrong? What did he do to you?”

“Nothing. I just… I can’t breathe…” I have to close my eyes and rest my head against the wall, fighting for every sip of air. “Can’t breathe.”

“Okay. You’re fine now. You’re safe, all right? All you have to do is take one breath. Try it. Just one breath. I’ll do it with you. In…”

Somehow, listening to him makes it a little easier. I’m only following orders, that’s all. I don’t have to think about anything. I just have to do as I’m told. Slowly, I’m able to take a breath, filling my lungs and clearing my head.

“Good job. Now out.” We exhale together, and I open my eyes and see the way his gaze moves over my face like he’s still worried.

Don’t get any ideas. He’s worried because he knows what will happen if Mom or Paul find out there was trouble tonight. It’s not because he cares. I’m a liability.

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