Page 4 of Unhinged Love

It just so happens I have nothing better to do than teach her.

TWO

Elliana

Why won’t this end?What did I ever do to be tortured like this?

I don’t want the cake. It looks beautiful—three layers, thick chocolate frosting—but my stomach turns at the sight of it. Really, this cake is like a symbol of my life. Now that we’re living here, now that Mom is married, everything looks beautiful on the outside.

The inside? That’s another story.

“This is delicious,” Mom gushes, because that’s all she does anymore. She gushes. Everything is the best, everything is perfect. Nothing has ever been as great as it is right now, this very minute. “What do you think, honey? This is the bakery in charge of our wedding cake.”

I didn’t realize she was talking to me. She never calls mehoney.But when I get another kick under the table, I force myself to look her way. “It’s good.”

“I was starting to think you forgot how to talk,” Carter mutters while Mom talks about cake fillings or whatever it is she’s interested in.

He’s a bully, and I know how to deal with bullies. It’s just like trying to fight a fire: deprive it of oxygen, and it has nowhere to go. I don’t know what his problem is with me, but it’s nothing new. He’s not even original.

“I don’t know. I like a nice raspberry filling. What do you think?” Paul asks Carter, who is barely picking at his slice.

“Whatever you want. It’s your wedding.” Somehow, he manages to make that sound like a great big, fatfuck you.

The sharp look Paul gives him tells me he already told his idiot son to behave himself, but Carter doesn’t feel like it. He hates us, and he’s not trying to hide it. No, he wants us to know. He wants to make us as uncomfortable as he can.

The thing is, he doesn’t need to try. At least, not with me. I’m uncomfortable enough already. Every day. But especially now, when I can’t look at this bully for fear of what he’ll see in my eyes when I do. It’ll be like blood in the water. He’ll know exactly how scared I am. Not of him, especially,but of everybody.

Even Paul, and he’s at least been nice to me. He’s gone out of his way to be kind and welcoming. He wants so much for us to work as a family. But when he came too close to me a few times today while he was directing the movers, my heart stuttered, and I froze. The man was only passing by, but I almost lost it, when he’s never been anything but overly devoted to Mom’s happiness.

It’s such a shame he doesn’t understand. She’ll never really be happy. Nothing is ever enough. I’m not enough of a daughter for her. A simple courthouse wedding wasn’t enough, and she’s already thinking about redecorating the house. I don’t know if he’s aware of that yet.

But a man with all his money can afford it. That’s what Mom says, anyway. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he would care if he did. He’s completely infatuated with her. I hope for her sake it lasts.

The sound of Carter’s fork hitting his plate startles me, and I jump a little, my heart in my throat. All he does is give me a funny sort of look while Mom laughs. “I swear, it takes nothing to make you jump. Why in the world are you so tense all the time?”

Because even that, she treats like a personal offense. Like I’m reflecting poorly on her somehow.

“First night in a new house,” Paul offers, all warm and smiling again. Like Carter, he wears his blond hair short. Unlike Carter, there’s genuine kindness in his blue eyes. “It’s not easy. But I want you to know this is your home now, and it would make me so happy if you became comfortable here. If there’s anything you need, anything at all, tell me right away, and I’ll make it happen if I can.”

How about you get your son to stop staring daggers at me like I stole something from him?I mean, he’s not even subtle about it. He wants me to know he hates me. He won’t stop until I know it.

No. I don’t think that’s enough. He wants a reaction out of me, and it’s driving him crazy not to get one. Am I supposed to apologize? He’s a spoiled baby who can’t handle being denied. A spoiled baby with a very muscular body.

I won’t dare take a glance across the table now, while he’s glaring at me like I’m the human embodiment of the Black Plague, but I’ve gotten enough glimpses of him so far to know he’s strong. Those thick arms and that broad chest tell me he spends time working out, taking care of himself. That doesn’t give me a lot of confidence, since I can’t even do a pull-up, muchless fight off somebody so much bigger than me. He’s got at least a foot on me in height, too.

But he wouldn’t try to hurt me physically… would he?

Who am I kidding? I know exactly how far people will go if it means breaking an innocent person’s spirit. And he seems like just the kind of person who would consider breaking my spirit a sport.

Something tells me he won’t quit until he’s crowned champion.

That’s why I excuse myself from the table the second I finish the cake that tastes like cotton in my mouth. Whatever it takes to get away from this table and the entire ugly charade being played out here.

I will not let you ruin this for me—my loving mother’s final words as we pulled up in front of the house earlier today with a moving van behind us.You had better start learning how to be a normal person, and fast, because I am not going to help you. This is my time! Do you hear me?

I heard her loud and clear. Was I supposed to be surprised? She has done everything she can to separate herself from me over the years. The criticism, the disdain. There are times I think it will drown me. I couldn’t even tell her about what I went through in high school.

Don’t think about that now.

---