Page 69 of Caging Darling

It’s because he thinks that me keeping myself safe means distancing myself from him.

We fall asleep together in bed, Peter so high from the faerie dust that he doesn’t stir when I slip outside our room and outside of the Den into the forest.

I run. Tink and Michael should be long gone by now, but maybe I haven’t missed Victor’s boat.

I spend the entire run to the ocean thinking. Plotting. Desperately trying to find a way to work around his words.

Peter wants me here with him.

I can’t figure a way around it.

I can’t leave.

I was so close. But I can’t leave.

When I get to the beach, I’m appalled to find Tink is still there, though Victor and the Lost Boys are nowhere in sight. There must be no emotion left on my expression by the time I get to the ocean, because while Tink runs up to me and looks ready to shake me for taking so long, she stops directly in front of me, fear widening her eyes.

She doesn’t have to hand me the tiles. Her face says enough.

“I’m not coming,” I say, staring off beyond my friend and across the beach, searching for my brother. I find him picking up seashells along the beach.

Tink practically slams a tile into my hand. “NO.”

Tears well in my eyes, but they don’t sting this time. I can’t feel a thing. “I’m not coming. I can’t come.”

“BOYS GONE. SAFE.”

My emotions splinter in my chest, relief that the Lost Boys are safe and out of Neverland allowing me to breathe, the realization that I’ll never see my brother again after tonight clamping my lungs closed again.

Tink shakes her head, her cheeks reddening. She grabs at her throat, at her mouth, frustration overcoming her usual poise.

“Tink,” I say, my voice dead. “I need you to go. I need you to take Michael with you.”

Tink stops grasping at her throat. She goes eerily still as she stares at me. Like she can’t believe what she’s hearing.

“I know he’s not your responsibility,” I say, the words slicing at the lump now developing in the back of my mouth. “But I can’t take care of him. I can’t keep him safe. Can’t keep him here.” The tears are coming now, and I can’t tell if they’re for myself or for Michael. “Please, I know it’s a lot to ask. I know he’ll need more supervision than another child might. But if you could just takecare of Michael; he trusts you. Even if it’s just until you can find him a home. Maybe a family who has another child like him. A family who will understand. I know I can’t ask that of you, but I don’t… Please…”

My voice is strained, and the bulge in my throat gets tighter.

Tink places another tile in my hand. “YOU COME.”

I wince. “I want to. So badly. I can’t explain why,” I say, “but I have to stay. Please. Please, just don’t argue with me about it.” I’m afraid that if I stand out here much longer, watching Michael pick up seashells, I might change my mind. Let Tink stay here with me.

But then I’ll die here, when my two years runs out, and Michael will be all alone with his brother’s killer.

Even now, the bargain on the back of my neck is whispering to me. Reminding me why it’s better for Tink to stay. Why I should convince her not to go, then tell Peter of my bargain. Peter, who can take her to the Nomad, fulfill my end of the bargain.

The compulsion grows stronger day by day as the end of my bargain draws nearer.

But it’s still far enough away to resist.

I tell my bargain that I’ll inform Peter about it later tonight. That he’ll be able to find Tink even if she’s in another realm.

That assuages it some.

I’m not sure how long it will last.

“Tink.” I grab her hand and place it on the back of my neck. When she pulls it away, paint is smeared across her fingers. She frowns, then gently turns me around to look at my bargain in the moonlight. Behind me, she gasps, then shoves me away. Not hard enough to make me fall, but hard enough for me to know there will not be an embrace.

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