Page 98 of Caging Darling

Astor glances up at me from where he’s shrugging off his overcoat and replacing it with a slick tailcoat. “And if there was an option that wouldn’t hurt?”

I open my mouth to answer, but the way he’s staring at me as if he’s not talking about Tink anymore has me swallowing and turning away. “We both know no such option exists.”

Astor doesn’t argue with me. The pitiful part of me wishes he would.

As I fidget with my shawl, tugging it tighter around me as I swivel back and forth in the cold, Astor says, “I know I hurt you, Darling.”

My heart hammers in my chest. “Do you?” I ask. “Do you really know?”

“No. No, I don’t. But I’d listen while you delivered a detailed account.”

I blink back tears and draw close to the alley wall, running my fingers over the grainy bricks, feeling the divots of grout underneath my fingertips. “I thought you would have been cleverer than that. Could have figured it out yourself.”

Footsteps pad against the cobblestone. When Astor sighs, his warm breath just barely grazes the back of my neck. “I let my obsession with bringing Iaso back warp how I saw you. I was selfish, and it led me to treat you like a commodity.”

I frown, because it’s still not enough. Because he still doesn’t get it.

“Darling, please. Just tell me how I can fix it.”

Pain cracks my ribs. “I’m afraid you can’t do that.” Because John is already dead. I’ve already taken up residence in Peter’s bed. I’m bound as a slave to him for the rest of my life, and there’s no way out for me. Even if I didn’t hate Astor for what he did to me, even if I forgave him, there’s no fixing it. No fixing us.

No fixing me.

Astor is buttoning his sleeves with the golden clasps at his wrists. When he gets to the right sleeve, he hesitates. He blinks twice and swallows.

“Here,” I say, grabbing his sleeve and pushing the button through the clasp with my thumb. The side of my left hand grazes his wrist, just barely. My hands are usually covered by my gloves, but tonight they are bare, my arms wrapped in black ribbons from my wrists to my biceps. Astor’s skin is warm, and at the edge of my finger, I can feel the hair on his forearm.

“Thank you,” he says, though he doesn’t draw his hand away when I’m done.

I glance up at him. His green eyes land on my face softly. Tenderly. My heart uses my ribcage like a ladder. Realizing I’m still clinging to his sleeve, I cough, dropping it like I might a cast-iron pan I’d recognized too late was still hot.

“Well,” I say, wiping my palms on the waistline of my coat, “it’s the least I can do, considering.” I gesture with my chin toward his hook, and the captain presses his lips together, pinning down an amused smirk.

“Your turn,” says the captain, gesturing to my satchel. I nod and dig through it, procuring a mask. It’s blood-red, to match Astor’s coat. To send a message.

That I belong to him. Until enough money passes hands, of course.

I draw the mask to my face and feel it settle against my cheekbones, covering my Mating Mark. I already applied cosmetics to my jawline and neck, thinking the entire time of Astor’s thumb against my jaw the night we met.

You missed a spot.

I shouldn’t, but I wish I could return to that moment. Back when Astor was the captivating stranger who stole my breath, but not my heart.

As I go to tie the ribbons behind my head, I realize my fingers are trembling from the cold. After a few minutes of attempting, Astor impatiently tapping his foot, he whips behind me, grabbing the ribbons with his right hand. “Allow me, please. Unless you’d prefer to freeze to death.”

“How are you going to tie my mask when you couldn’t even button your own sleeve?” I ask.

But a moment later, the mask goes taut against the back of my skull, and Astor steps back in front of me, an amused smirk on his face. “I’ve become quite adept at doing menial tasks one-handed,” he explains.

I glance at his sleeve button. “But…”

The corner of Astor’s mouth twitches. “I did so enjoy your help, Darling.”

CHAPTER 37

Vulcan’s manor isn’t like I expected.

I’d been picturing a castle, all grim stone and sharp turrets. Sharp and dangerous and gloomy.

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