Page 92 of I Summon the Sea

I bet Tru will be standing guard today, too, but I’ll find a way around him as long as Jai doesn’t rush here again, taking over and…

And rescuing me from myself.

I make a face at myself in the mirror as the last thought hits. I fell apart last night, didn’t I? That’s not something I should allow myself ever again. No matter how badly the past aches, and no matter how handsome Jai is, or how true the story of his possession by an ancient Eosphor might be.

You can’t afford to let your guard down. You can’t afford to fail. Showing weakness is a path doomed to failure, and no matter what he does, he’s not on your side. He’s on the fae side.

Never forget that, or you’ll lose both the battle and the war.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

The black moth follows me.

It flutters around me as I make my way down wide staircases to the lower terraces where the breakfast is being served, with Arkin as my escort for the day.

Why is he here instead of Tru? It looks like Jai forgave him for slacking in his duties yesterday, when I managed to run away and enter the royal apartments.

As we walk, people point at the moth and gape at me. I never thought something so small would garner such a reaction, and the last thing I need is to draw more attention to myself.

Great gift, Jai.

Only it wasn’t a gift, was it? What do I want with a man who drips moths and disdain wherever he goes?

Except, he held me in his arms with such care, looked after me during the night. Made me feel precious and dear, treasured and doted on.

No, no.Jai is doing this for a reason. People always do things for a reason, and what I imagine the reason to be is impossible. No man ever falls hopelessly in love with a girl just like that, enough to decide to throw his life to the fish for her. That only happens in children’s bedtime stories.

Especially a man with Jai’s power and arrogance, with that evil side.

Phaethon.

Or not. Maybe that’s just who he is.

Like I said, people do things for a reason, and Jai must have his own. If it is to make me like him, though, it’s a mixed bag. His plan isn’t well thought out. If you want someone to like you, you need to be consistently kind, not tell the guards to throw you into the sea, or…

“I can’t wait to see you get thrown into some dungeon to die.”

Yeah.He said that to me on the barge, during one of our first encounters.

Strange how I still feel those words like splinters in my chest. How it’s not his evil side that has me backtracking, but the kind side, the feel of his arms around me, the promise of safety he gave me.

See why I should keep away from him? He’s dangerous to my sanity.

Patting my dagger, snug and hidden in the folds of my dress once more, I move through the palace, Arkin on my heels.

He doesn’t comment on the shiny black moth now sitting on my shoulder, pretending once more to be a gem, part of my costume, though I’m sure his keen fae eyes have noticed it. Figured out what it is, even before the fae nobles started pointing at it.

I still don’t see Neere around. What is the story between them? My fingers itch for the paper and ink I left in my room, my only real means of communication.

Then again, maybe it’s for the best. Who knows what my traitorous mind might decide to ask now? Would it ask him if he has known Jai long? If Jai has also savedhislife, like Truclaims he did for him? If he knows anything about Phaethon and shadow magic?

Yes, it’s better that I can’t ask or speak at all. The loss of my voice seems like an unexpected boon today.

The terrace is dominated by a white pavilion under which long tables have been set. The pillars supporting the roof are festooned with star flowers, the fae’s favorite blooms, said to have been brought over from their world, as well as golden ribbons fluttering in the wind.

Seabirds caw overhead, and draks screech.

The fae nobles stand idly in the gardens, sipping from tall, fluted glasses and ignoring me as I hurry past, pretending I don’t exist.

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