Page 94 of I Summon the Sea

Another says, “She’s in league with them. Volunteered for the games because she believes in the fae cause.”

Refusing to rise to the bait, though my back stiffens, I grab a plate and peruse the food. Let them think what they want. Just because I entered the godsdamned games, they think it’s proof I’m on the enemy’s side, simple as that.

When you believe something, everything is proof that you’re right, no matter what the truth is.

Where is Jai? I scan the faces around and don’t see him anywhere.

Better that way, I tell myself.

“Stop flirting with Athdara!”

I’m not flirting with anyone.

I walk along the tables, my mind still on Jai, Neere, and the king, not really seeing the porcelain plates heaped with the nibbles the fae favor. It’s a miracle they deigned to share this space with us, although as I understand it, they have little choice in the matter.

This is a religious festival, and like sacrificial animals headed for the altar, we are sacred, too. The fae nobles have no permission to openly harm us or object to our being here.

I doubt it will stop them from tripping us up when the telchin priest or the king isn’t looking, but all the same. They are forced to accept our presence.

Mulling over this, I collect a few slices of what appears to be cake with colorful layers, a sweet bun, and a glass of juice, yellow as a daisy.

Then, carrying my plate, I turn around, looking for a free seat. As luck would have it, there are two free seats at the table closest to me, and I head that way.

The two humans who are already seated there grimace at my approach.

“We saw Athdara follow you after you ran out of the banquet hall,” the man says. “You’re in cahoots with him. With the fae. You can’t deny it anymore.”

“You can’t fool us,” the woman adds. “And we don’t want you near us. You should find another table to sit at.”

Axwick, I realize. And Mera.

Because, of course I’m all out of luck.Oh, the joy.This day keeps getting better and better. The dagger is a cool weight against my thigh, reminding me of my real purpose.

Calm down,maikosa, I tell myself as I take my seat,but don’t back down.

I sit down, placing my plate before me. The fact they are sitting alone tells me that these two aren’t getting along with the others, so why should I expect better treatment?

Over my first bite of the bun which I find stuffed with sweet jelly, I consider both of them, their pinched faces, their anger. They are scared humans thrust into a game of death and survival, wary and suspicious of everything and everyone.

I’m the same. And I don’t need more enemies. I need allies.

I could just get up and find another table to sit at, but at the end of the day, what difference would it truly make?

Watching the two humans, I try to think of a way to bridge the growing gulf between us. I’m not used to social interaction anymore, because… because I’ve been alone for so long and…

Stop.The black hole in my mind awaits to suck me down, so I slam the door closed on it.

It doesn’t matter. What matters is what I do now, my next move. Looking at the past has never helped anyone—though it fuels me and pushes me, it can also be my downfall. Walking that thin tightrope between action and insanity is what I must keep on doing.

And if that reminds me of Jai, if that makes me think we are alike in some way, then who cares?

Silence has fallen on our table. The two humans are glaring at me. I gaze back at them, putting my bun down, thinking how to convince them I mean them no harm.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave?” Mera finally demands, her voice rising. She pushes her chair back. “I’m not sticking around. I can’t stand to look at you.”

Looking down at my plate, I think of how animals do it, how they put in a request for friendship, how they appease others. I’ve been an animal myself for too long.

So I select the prettiest cake morsel, and I offer it to her in the palm of my hand, holding her furious gaze.

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