Page 115 of Unlawful Seduction

“I did. Ava and I were very tight. I was certain we’d get married. Anyway, that wasn’t in the cards because even though I was going to eventually be Don, I wasn’t good enough for Lucian’s precious daughter. The thought that my once best friend didn’t care about his own flesh and blood just tipped me over the edge.”

“So you eliminated them.”

I half laughed. “As many as I could erase off this earth. I left Ava and Lucian’s wife to fend for themselves. They didn’t deserve to face my wrath even though I’d begun to think what Ava and I had shared was nothing more than rebellion against her father. By that point, I wanted out of the life and it didn’t matter what happened to me.”

Another moment of quiet settled between us. “I’m sorry you were disillusioned.”

“I assure you that everything I’ve endured I deserved, Doc. I’m not a good guy, but that’s not who I am any longer.”

“Then who are you?”

The question was a valid one. “A man longing to enjoy the simple things in life. A job, a house, time spent with friends and family. A good book. A nice movie. Hell, I don’t really know how to relax, but maybe it’s time I learned.”

“Oh.” Her tone held disappointment.

“I won’t lie to you, Mallory. You deserve better than me. I’m not good with this shit. I shut down so many of my emotions just to be able to survive. That’s what happens when you forget you have a conscience. A part of me wanted to stay away from youand Vermont so you could find peace and happiness. But I was selfish again and couldn’t do it. I think I came back here under the guise of selling the house hoping I’d run into you. You both deserve the best things in life, but more than anything, I’d like to have you and my son in my life at whatever level you feel is appropriate. I can understand if you can’t tolerate that and hate me for what I did. But I have a son and I refuse to disappear. He has the most incredible mother and you’re his role model, but I’d like to be in his world. I’ll do anything it takes to make up the time, the lies, the fact you couldn’t trust me. I’m not very romantic. I admit that, but I will do what’s in my power to make you happy.”

When I took a deep breath, I felt her eyes were still on me. I tilted my head, surprised to see her smiling.

“For a man who initially said few words, you talk a lot. As a matter of fact, has anyone ever told you that you talk too much and don’t know when to shut up?”

“Throwing my words back at me.”

“You bet.” She grinned. “You need to hear me and just shut up until I’m finished.”

I threw up my hands, almost spilling the drink.

She shook her head. “I don’t need perfection. I just need someone I can count on. That’s what your son needs as well. Trust me, when I found out I was pregnant, I had regular panic attacks because I was certain I was going to suck as a mother. But you learn if you allow your heart to lead you. You’re an amazing man who lost your way. You’ve been given a chance to find happiness. Don’t fuck it up.”

“Does that mean I can hang around occasionally?”

Mallory’s expression turned contemplative. “Maybe. Only if you continue bringing huge stuffed bears with every visit.”

There was a sudden commotion as both dogs and Brady came bounding out on the deck.

“Whoa, little man. Careful,” Mallory said as she caught him, tickling his tummy until the little boy was in a fit of giggles.

“Mommy! Hungwy.”

“You’re hungry, huh?” she repeated. “What for?”

“Pizza!”

“Then I guess we need to order some.”

Brady turned his little head, studying me as intently as his mom always did. “Can Beckett stay?”

“Well, I don’t know,” she demurred. “Beckett is a very busy man. Why don’t you ask him?”

The hopeful look on her face brought another round of emotions I wasn’t expecting.

Brady stomped toward me, giving me a stare down that could rival any monster. “Will you stay for pizza?”

There was nothing more that I wanted to do than to grab him in my arms, but I threw his mother another look. She was biting her lower lip as she did when she was nervous. “What kind of pizza is your favorite?”

He huffed. “Mama likes snawsage but I like puperoni.”

It was all Mallory could to do keep from laughing. “Well, then we might need to get one of both. Your mommy deserves to have the kind of pizza she likes. Right?”

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