Page 35 of The Wonder of You

“Thank you, miss!” She takes it back, looks at it one more time and sighs. Quickly, she hands it back to me. “I really liked painting that.”

“You’re most welcome, but why are you handing it to me?”

“I didn’t bring anything with me.” Her lips sink but she doesn’t cry as she shows me her empty dress pockets. Looking closer at the brown-haired girl with the big blue eyes, I am reminded of myself at that age.

“Then it is my gift to you.” I kneel to her level. “Keep it safe and remember us.”

She throws herself forward and wraps her arms around my shoulders tightly.

“Oh,” I laugh, and pat her back. I have never been great with children but I can’t help but feel warmed by the moment and the joy on this little girl’s face. This circus is the closest thing she may experience to magic in her world, and she deserves to remember it when she looks at this rock with her own design painted on.

“Thank you!” she offers me one more smile before running off.

I look up at the night sky, allowing my eyes to flicker over the stars and the cool breeze to find my cheeks. I see a group of people walk into one of the tents and I know one of my favourite performances of the night is beginning.

***

I sit in the circus tent, watching in fascination as Toni and her girls dance for the final show. The music is loud, guests are starting to stand up and clap. No matter how many years I’ve been here, I will never fully get used to it all. It’s amazing in every way. As it’s the last show of the night and the last in this town, Lukas runs in and starts dancing too. He twirls one of the girls around and then another. I clap and laugh as I watch his happy smile. Henry joins too and I watch him longer than the rest. He stomps around, but looks like a better dancer than all of the trained ones.

“Why are you sitting here?” Phoenix comes up beside me and shouts in my ear. It’s still hard to hear him over all this noise and cheering.

“I’m watching,” I try shouting back. I can never get my weak voice loud enough.

“You are not a guest; you are so much more! Join us!”

He grins as he pulls me up and runs with me towards the front with everyone else. Toni continues to keep eye contact with the crowd while the girls dance in their perfectly coordinated way. I wish I was able to dance like them. Even half their skills would still make me incredible. It makes me wish I had something to contribute on the stage.

But Phoenix takes me away from my thoughts as he twirls me around. He lifts me off my feet and smiles at me as the crowd roars with delight.

“Kiss!” someone demands. We both laugh as he brings me down slowly, my feet still off the floor as I wrap my arms around his neck and do as the crowd wishes, kissing him hard. I never thought I’d like the attention, but hearing the guests cheer for us really lights something inside of me. No wonder why Toni never gets bored of this, the laughter and screams of joy are infectious. It makes me want to dance more, swirl around like no one is watching, not caring that people actually are. It’s like the circus offers a gift of pure happiness, of carefree confidence. Here, everyone can be themselves without any self-doubt. No wonder people pay for this. No wonder we make this our home andnever intend, for a single moment, to do something different with our lives.

This is where my heart wants to be.

The music comes to an end and I take a step back with Lukas as Toni bows to the crowd and Phoenix stands beside her.

“Thank you for coming to our last show here,” he cries out. His voice projects through the tent and everyone stares at him in wonder. “We have Toni Swift here. I thank her tremendously, of course; all this dancing is put together by her.” He waves his arm in her direction and lets her take centre stage to bow again. He introduces each girl by their name as they all take a bow one at a time. It’s so special and personal that he does it like this. It’s never justToni and her girls,he makes the effort to name each one. He also credits the ticket men who stand by the tent entrance while they awkwardly wave at the crowd.

“Henry Reiher, who you probably recognise from one of our game stalls.” He turns and smirks at Henry who dramatically bows to the crowd, clearly enjoying the attention.

“Also, big props to the very handsome Lukas Alder, here!”

Lukas blushes, bowing his head with a smile as the crowd cheers.

“Of course, there are many others who haven’t joined us in the tent tonight. Each one deserves a thank you, they know I appreciate all that they do.” Phoenix takes a deep breath as he reaches his hand towards me. I hold his hand tightly as he pulls me beside him.

“And this here is my beautiful lady, my soulmate, the other half of my heart, Renée. Without her I’d be nothing.”

The crowd erupts into cheers loud enough to make me think my eardrums will explode. I blush and drop my head, especially as Lukas starts making whooping noises behind us. Although my eardrums stay perfectly intact as the guests start to disappear into the night, my heart continues to beat erratically. There is a place that I have always dreamed of, a home, and here it is, with my true family… with Phoenix. He’s my sunshine on a cold day, a pink flower after a long colourless winter. I know I won’t be able to sleep with all these emotions twirling around in my mind, so I decide to join some of the circus gang who have set up the deckchairs by the campfire with cups of tea.

“I can’t remember the last time I danced like that. Not sure what came over me tonight.” Henry leans back into his chair and puffs smoke from his cigarette up into the night sky.

“You were amazing, I thought you were the best one out there,” I tell him as I wrap my hands around the cup of tea Lukas has just handed me.

“Don’t let your boyfriend hear that,” he smirks at me and I shake my head. Talking of Phoenix, he walks over to join us wearing grey trousers and a delightfully fitted white nightshirt. I smile at the way he has tucked his socks up over the bottoms to his ankles. It does look cosy, though. Usually, most people change when the circus ends for the night, including Phoenix from his handsome suit. I have never felt obliged to dress toofancy for the evening shows, a simple gown does me fine. I am not an attraction here after all, and Phoenix looks at me like he’s in love with whatever I wear, or don’t wear. The thought of that makes me want to tell him to go back to the cabin with me, but I won’t leave my friends just yet.

“That was a good end to being in this town, we should come back in a few hundred years maybe.” Phoenix says. It almost disappoints me when we find a nice place to set up in the mortal world only to not come back for such a long time. We need to be careful how often we visit the same place, otherwise there is a chance the mortals will notice we haven’t aged. It causes disagreement sometimes. Some of the circus folk believe we’d be just fine, that the mortals don’t pick up on such things, but Phoenix doesn’t see the point in the risk. We have the whole mortal world at our pick.

“Shall we pack up first thing in the morning?” Phoenix glances up at Henry.

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