Page 37 of The Wonder of You

He cuts me off. “Everyone likes you Renée, you are one of a kind.”

“Bleh, you are so obsessed with me,” I joke. Phoenix almost chokes on his laugh; he kisses my neck and I feel the smile forming on his lips. “That I am.”

“Hey, love birds,” Lukas says as he walks up to us. “This ismymoment!”

I smile.

“Congratulations again, Lukas. If you need anything you’ll let us know, right? I know Cheri can sometimes feel awkward asking,” I tell him softly.

“Yeah, she gets embarrassed, it’s silly really.” He looks serious, but his smile quickly comes back. “Well, I hope the little one doesn’t get my big red nose.”

We all laugh. “She’ll still be beautiful; I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Oh? She?”

“I have a feeling.” My heart swells at the idea of a little girl running around the circus. I will willingly help out Lukas and Cheri if they want it. I don’t have much experience with children, but this feels like I am getting a niece and that is exciting. It will be something new to the circus. I wonder how it will change us.

“We are welcome to stay, right?” Lukas bites his lip as he nervously looks at Phoenix. I feel him straighten himself, but his arm remains firmly around my waist.

“What?”

Lukas’ hands fiddle around awkwardly. He gulps. “Well, we’ll have a baby, I assume that’s okay?”

“He’s joking, isn’t he?” Phoenix looks at me in shock and I giggle. I reach forward and grab Lukas’ hand.

“That isn’t really a question in your mind, is it?”

Lukas shrugs, suddenly looking embarrassed. I wonder if this is his question or Cheri’s. It makes me want to hug them both for their insecurities.

“I didn’t want to assume,” he mumbles.

“Lukas, you’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a brother. Of course you’re staying. My, you are a plonker!” Phoenix playfully pushes Lukas shoulder, who laughs in return.

“Wait until I tell Henry!”

“Oh, please don’t,” Lukas cringes. “I won’t live that down.”

Phoenix and I walk back to our cabin hand in hand, I can’t wipe the smile off my face thinking about how our circus family is growing.

Chapter 26

1917

“Are you okay?” I ask Cheri as Maudie sits on my lap. Her second birthday party yesterday was exhausting, but it was so much fun. We had a tent set up for the birthday party, decked with all sorts of decorations even though Maudie will never remember this. But I will. Henry walked into the circus tent dressed as a clown, which made Toni laugh so much she had to excuse herself. Maudie had a great time; we all had a great time. Moments like those, I wish could last forever.

“Yes and no. I’m tired. And sort of lonely, you know?” she tells me without meeting my eyes.

“Lonely?” I ask. I can’t imagine being lonely surrounded by our entire circus crew. It’s a thought that hasn’t crossed my mind since I left Lydia and my father behind so many years ago.

Cheri swallows, looking guilty.

“Do you ever feel like these aren’t your people?”

How do I be honest and tell her no? The circus folk have been my people since day one. Maudie tugs on the strand of hair that has fallen loose from my ponytail and I’m grateful for the second of distraction.

“You do, don’t you? You love it here,” she sighs. I look up at her, for a brief moment she reminds me of Lydia. A thought I do not want to have. Cheri looks tired, her eyes are dark and she nervously picks at her fingernail.

“This is sort of my place, you know? It always has been.” I cringe as I say it, but I’m not going to lie. That would be just as unfair.

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