My soulmate. My everything.
A burning sensation tickles at my feet as a mixture of different screams fill my ears.
The first time I met Henry, Lukas, held Maudie.
I’m too weak, my hand slips of Phoenix’s arm and my other starts to drop finger by finger.
“No,” Phoenix moans.
I felt so alive here. I belonged. This was home.
“Renée, hold on.” Phoenix tries pulling me up again and it’s heartbreaking to witness as I know he’s only set up for failure. I’m going to die and he’s going to have to live with it.
I hope he remembers me forever, even if he does move on and find a second chance of happiness with someone else. The circus and his life should not be ruined or put on hold because of me. He should not blame himself.
But my God, I wish he was just mine forevermore.
I wish I could stay.
I look at his face. I want it to be the last thing I see.
My fingers start slipping almost like an invisible hand is breaking us apart.
Phoenix howls.
I fall into darkness.
Chapter 34
Memories flicker around my mind which I don’t think are actually mine. It’s as if I’m watching a television show, but it’s almost like I am a ghost standing beside them as it happens, feeling every emotion, knowing every thought. I feel my eyes flickering as I think these will become the last memories that float through my mind.
“No, no, no,” Phoenix cries. He uses his fists to slam the ground, which has quickly reverted back to its normal self after the giant hole ripped through it. His hands are covered in mud and blood as he frantically pulls the grass, like he believes he can open whatever hell hole previously appeared and pull Renée back out.
“Renée…” His voice breaks and he sits there in a soundless scream, unable to cry out, unable to save his love. Lukas desperately wants to support his friend, his brother. He struggles to do anything other than be paralysed in the moment, cradling his daughter who he nearly lost. She cries in his arms, her own fear catching up on her, the woman she saw as a mum gone.
“Where is she?” Phoenix furiously shouts at Henry; he grabs at his jacket and pulls at it like a child throwing a tantrum. “Where is she?”
“Phoenix, I…” but Henry has no words, he can barely speak from his own grief. Phoenix accepts not having a response as his response. No one can help him. He screams and hits the ground again, panic rushing through his body as he realises what has happened, what this means for him. The thought of being without Renée for even a night makes his body ache. And the thought of forever without her? His body shakes as if he’s been electrocuted, then he falls to the ground. Henry follows behind Toni who carries a passed-out Phoenix over her shoulder and back to his cabin.
A hand tightly grips Henry’s arm. He turns quickly, on high alert. It’s only Lukas though. He has Maudie in one arm and he looks at Henry with terror still lingering in his eyes. Henry glances down, if he looks at anyone for too long, he is certain he’ll see that pit again. The flames as they reached up. He shakes his head to snap out of it.
“Where are they?”
Henry glances around, the rest of the staff are still lingering around looking hopeless. How did the circus go from a war zone to back to normal in just minutes? How can everything look the same when nothing is the same?
But the witches are gone.
“They’ve left. They’ve done the upmost damage as possible. Don’t leave Maudie though, just in case.”
“I wouldn’t.” Lukas responds, almost offended that he would need to be told.
“Go back to the cabin.” Henry instructs.
Tears fill Lukas’ eyes. “How? I can’t act like things are normal. Renée is…” his eyes dart around again, as if expecting something or someone to pop up and create more chaos. To rip more away from them. “And what if they come back?”
“They won’t.” Henry says firmly, a hint of irritation in his voice. “Maudie is your main concern right now. Okay? I’ll stay up tonight just in case.”
“Should we tell someone? Gabriel? About what happened? He’s our leader, the leader of our world. He can stop them from coming back.”