Page 6 of The Wonder of You

She nods quickly.

“Well, when I was little, I was called ugly too.”

She gasps.

“See, but you think I am pretty.” I smile and she does too.

“Is it really you?” she asks.

I don’t have time to ask her what she means. I jolt when I realise her father, the man also dressed as a clown, is standing beside us. I quickly stand and put my hand on my heart. How did he get here so quickly?

He smiles at me.

“Thank you for your kindness, my little one needed it.” He pats her head and she looks up at him with endless love in her gaze.

“I remember being in her shoes all too well,” I say.Sometimes too well. I clear my throat. “Sorry. I won’t keep you.”

He stares at me for a moment too long again. I am fascinated by this circus, but why do these performers look like they’re fascinated byme? I’m sure that’s not what is going on.

How bold of me to assume such a thing. They are probably like this with everyone.

I begin to walk away, feeling a little overwhelmed.

“Hey,” he calls. I turn back, noticing he is holding the little girl’s hand. She is still smiling up at me.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. I can’t help, but admire the blue paint around his eyes. It makes them look like large stars. He takes a noticeably deep breath before speaking again.

“There’s a stall with painted rocks over on the other side of the circus, near the copse of trees.”

“Some of them are painted with animals on!” the little girl exclaims. I don’t know what to say to the strange admission.

“You should go and check them out,” he says, looking awkward all of a sudden.

“Um… okay?” I say, trying for a polite smile.

“Can we go with her, Daddy? Please?” the little clown asks. My heart skips as she calls him Daddy. I can’t help but find it adorable.

“Alright, if that’s okay with the young lady,” he says as he directs his eyes back at me.

Screw it, why not?I nod and follow their lead.

Chapter 6

As we walk, my ears are filled with laughter from the other customers. Children run past me, some with adults trying to catch up, but giant smiles are spread across their faces.

“Roll up, roll up,” a voice shouts. I notice a “shoot a can and win a prize”stand. The man in charge of it is wearing a red and white striped suit that matches the stall.

“Come on up, win a prize!” he cries out. His smile is huge and he waves his hands wildly as people walk past in hope to entice them in. “Everyone is a winner! The more tickets you have, the more chances you have, come on now!” His voice is croaky, somewhat creepy if it was in different circumstances. But in a place so colourful with laughing children, he fits right in. His act is perfect. As we continue walking, I overhear the little girl question her father.

“Does she not remember?” her voice is weak, as if she is going to cry.

“Not yet, but don’t worry, okay?” he says, rubbing her shoulder. I’m not sure what or who they’re talking about, so after a bit of silence, I decide to ask some questions of my own. I fall in step with them

“So, how do you win tickets?” I ask.

“We sell some, but you mostly win them at other stalls. We don’t like to sell too many because we want people to have the excitement of winning.” I can see inhis smile how much he loves the circus. Envy fills me, but it’s light envy, not as green as jealousy.

“By the way, I’m Lukas and this is my daughter, Maudie. I realise we didn’t exchange names.” I suddenly feel awkward. Do I reach out my hand to him? Would that be weird, given that Lydia seemed to think it was when I did it with Simon? Sometimes I wonder how I made it to twenty-nine without knowing these things.

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