Page 76 of Vengeful Vows

She’s content, and although it won’t last, her fear is forgotten.

I gave that to her, and she did the same for me.

Even now, sexually and emotionally exhausted, and the urge for her to touch me overwhelming me, I feel fearless enough to say, “She told me I was dirty. That since I was born a bastard, I’d have to work harder to wash away the sins my out-of-wedlock birth caused.” I stop to swallow the anger bubbling in my throat and heating my face. “The water was hot…hot enough to burn… yet I still felt dirty even after she scrubbed my skin raw.”

A memory flashes up, momentarily stilling me, before the softness of a delicate hand pulls me out of the trenches before I’m wholly buried.

Mara’s thumb is scarcely stroking mine, but the disbelief it smacks me with sees even more secrets being shared. “Just the briefest touch would instigate hives because I knew she would use it as an excuse to say I was dirty again. Then she would have to bathe me, and the routine I did everything to avoid would start all over again.” Anger echoes in my tone. “I did everything I could to stay clean. I went to the library during breaks at school. I ate my lunch with gloves I stole from the cafeteria. I didn’t touch anyone, and I sure as hell didn’t allow anyone to touchme. I did everything I could, but the abuse didn’t end. I—” I stop when I choke, and then I fiercely shake my head.

These are my secrets to share, but I don’t want to share them. I never have with anyone. Not even Rafael knows how dark they go.

And I will do everything I can to make it stay that way.

Air leaves Mara’s mouth in a hurry when I stroke the pad of my thumb over her erect nipple. I don’t want to use her to get over my anguish. I want her to help me forget.

The burn at the back of my throat feels nowhere near as scalding when she leans into my embrace instead of repelling from it.

Although appreciative of her wave of the white flag, she is a fighter more than first perceived. “Abusers target children because they’re the most vulnerable.”

She almost yelps when I tug her nipple firmly. This is not a discussion I want to have while my cock is poking into her ass. It should be as flat as a tack, not digging into her curves.

My lips thin when she persists. “They are inappropriate in front of a family member to s-see if they will get away with it.” I freeze, curious to see where she’s going with this. “When they do, they become more risqué. They groom you in front of the people who are meant to protect you because they know they won’t do anything about it since they’re just as abusive.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

I thought I deserved to be abused because I was too scared to speak up.

Only now am I realizing that isn’t the case.

Even when you’re brave enough to push back, you can still get hurt.

I stroke Mara’s back, hopeful my simplest touch will weaken the rise and fall of her chest, before asking, “How long?” Hereyes bounce between mine like she is confused. I know she isn’t, but I act stupid. “How long did it take for the abuse to stop?”

“Um…” I hate the shake of her thighs. “It d-didn’t… until I left.”

My voice is calm even though I’m anything but. “Because you were pregnant with Tillie?”

Shock registers on her beautiful face for half a second before understanding settles it.

She nods. “I had hoped he would s-stop since I was pregnant.” Her hands knot into her skirt. “But it made him worse.”

“Because she was proof that he was a pedophile.”

She doesn’t try to hide her disgust from me. She simply nods before breathing out slowly. “I think th-that’s why he was so rough the last time. He wanted me to miscarry.” Wetness glosses her eyes, but her cheeks remain tear-free. “I didn’t want that. I wanted Ti?—”

“I know,” I interrupt, stilling her fidgeting hands. “You don’t need to tell me, Mara. I know.” I take a deep breath, then hold her gaze while sharing a secret I had planned to take to the grave. “I am sure it was the same for Karolina with Riley. Even knowing how she was conceived and the hate associated with it, I’m confident she wanted her from the moment she knew of her existence.”

31

MARA

My chest grows tight and hot while waiting for Ark to expand on his reply, to explain how his baby sister is actually his niece. If I were holding my breath, I would have been asphyxiated by now. He isn’t exactly skirting, more not ready to be totally upfront with me.

I understand why. We were strangers only weeks ago.

It feels weird admitting that, particularly because I can still taste his cum on my tongue.

The reminder of how delicious he tastes has me squirming on his lap. Fortunately for me, my grumbling stomach frees me from looking like a heartless sex fiend.

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