Page 44 of Forbidden Desires

“That would have been a bad enough situation, but Mama didn’t take the affair well,” Brody begins, his voice heavy with sorrow. “She had suspected it for years, but he kept lying to her, telling her she was imagining things. He made her feel crazy, paranoid even. She gave up her life to support him, to help him with the hotel and grow a family, and he thanked her by lying and sleeping around. I fucking hate him for it. How could you do that to your wife, the woman you love? He made her believeshe was losing her mind.” He runs a shaky hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down. He closes his eyes, and I know he’s right back there reliving the moment. “She loaded up on red wine and got behind the wheel.”

My heart sinks as the weight of the tragedy settles over us. Tears blur my vision, and I reach out to grasp Brody’s hand, needing to offer some comfort, even if it’s just through the touch of our intertwined fingers. We sit in silence for a while, the heaviness of the moment hanging between us.

“That night, me and the boys were on our way back from—” Brody’s voice catches, his words choked with emotion. “From a game, Bay Raiders versus Bluewater Beach Eels. Biggest game of the year, and the night had already been filled with drama. I just got my license, so I was driving. Prescott was riding shotgun, even though our relationship was strained by then. Elliot, Parker, and Noah were in the back. We still played on the same team. It might not make sense to you, being from the city, but out here football is a big fucking deal. We were brothers through thick and thin. I probably wasn’t paying the best attention, distracted by the guys’ antics… but she came right at us. I swerved to miss her, but it was too late. There was nothing I could do.” He heaves out the last words, choking on them.

My stomach churns with nausea as the full extent of Brody’s anguish becomes clear. “You were driving the car she hit?” I manage to whisper through the lump in my throat.

He nods solemnly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. I squeeze his hand tighter, as if by holding on tighter, I can somehow alleviate his pain. But I know it’s not that simple. This tragedy has left scars that run too deep to heal easily. He’s been carrying this pain around since he was just a teenager.

A sob escapes me, and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the weight of Brody’s sorrow. My heart breaks for him. And for Emerson, she would have been so little when she lost her mom.Even though my relationship is strained with my own mother, I still can’t imagine not having her around while I grew up. “I’m so sorry, Brody,” I murmur, my voice thick with emotion.

“I blamed myself,” Brody admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “For months, that’s what I thought. That I should have done more, that I should have been paying better attention. I couldn’t do my schoolwork, play ball, hang with the guys. I was so numb. I killed my mama.”

I reach out to brush away a tear that slips down his cheek. My own heart aches for him, wishing I could have been there to pick up the pieces for him, to heal him. “You’re so strong, Brody,” I tell him softly. But even as I speak the words, I know that strength has come at a cost. Brody has carried the weight of this burden for far too long, and it’s taken its toll on him in ways I can only begin to imagine.

“None of this was your fault,” I tell him firmly, needing him to understand that he’s not alone in this. “You couldn’t have stopped any of it. You were a kid.”

He looks at me, gratitude shining in his eyes, and for a moment, I see a glimmer of hope amidst the sorrow. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able to let go of some of the guilt that’s been weighing him down for so long. “I know that now. Now you know why I hate him so much. After months of watching me fall apart, my father finally got the guts to set me straight. He admitted his part in that night, that she saw him. Walked in on him and his mistress. Not Prescott’s ma this time, it was another one, someone he worked with. He didn’t tell me who, and I didn’t ask. I was so disgusted with him I just took off for New York and didn’t look back. What kind of man does that to his family?” He shakes his head, and I see the anger he still holds for him.

He makes more sense to me now. That’s when he shut down and blocked everyone who cared about him out. It’s like I cansee him properly for the first time. “I’m so sorry, Brody,” I offer softly. I don’t know what else to say. I want to take away his pain, but I don’t know how.

“That night changed my life forever. Not just mine, but the other boys’ as well. Especially Prescott. He ended up with injuries so terrible from the impact of the accident, it ended his promising football career. He’s never forgiven me for it, or Noah who landed the scholarship he’d always expected was his.”

“He’s the one who owns the paper who printed the story?” I ask, recalling the name from previous conversations.

Brody nods. “And now I’m expected to come back here and carry on like my father was some sort of hero. This town loves him. Even after Prescott released that story, Em and I thought our reputation was down the toilet, but most people didn’t believe it. That’s how he got away with it for so long, he was so charming that they just believed his lies. Especially my poor mama.”

“Does Em know all the details now?”

“When the paper released that story, I had to tell her some of it. She knows what happened that day. That dad was having an affair with someone who worked at The Alexander, and Mama got drunk and crashed into a car, dying. Only the boys know it was my car. She was little, she didn’t need to know something that would only hurt her more. How do you tell your little sister you’re the reason she had to grow up without her mama.”

He’s so protective of her. It’s sweet, but he has to see she’s a big girl now. She can handle the truth. If this were my parents, I wouldn’t want it kept from me. “So, you have just been carrying the burden of all this around with you for years?”

He nods, and I watch him, wondering how to help him through this. “I know it’s not my place, but I think you should talk to Emerson. She was really young when the accident happened, but she’s an adult now. She’s smart and so caring.You could work through all of this together. No one will understand like she can. And knowing the truth, what really happened, will help her understand you better. She wants so desperately to be close to you. You’re the only family she has left.”

He glances at me, hurt in his eyes, but I see recognition of truth there as well. “You think I should tell her, so she knows why I’m such a grumpy bastard? Don’t think I don’t hear you guys talking shit about me.”

I shrug, trying to lighten the mood. “It wouldn’t kill you to smile every once in a while. You’re gorgeous when you do.” My cheeks flush as the words leave my lips, memories of our kiss last night flooding back. And suddenly, I understand why he’s sharing his story with me. This is why we can’t be together. I meet his gaze more seriously. His dad was sleeping with staff at the hotel. “You’re not your dad. You know that, don’t you?”

“I want you more than I should when I’m your boss,” he admits. “From the whispers I’ve heard from older employees and from the newspaper article, I knew he was sleeping with multiple women who worked under him. I’m sure it’s why he put that clause in the contract about management dating staff. Even he thought I would be just like him.”

“But you’re not. Not at all. We have had this crazy chemistry since we first met, and you have stopped it from going any further every time.”

“When you kissed me last night it took everything I had in me to pull away from you,” he says.

My heart flutters. He wants me every bit as much as I want him. He’s just scared of turning into his father. “I wish you wouldn’t. There is something here, Brody, something I have never felt before. I knew it that first night in New York.”

He swallows, looking away from me and out over the fields. “I knew it too. It’s why I was so pissed when you showed up here asa part of my staff.” His gaze returns to me, his eyes more intense than before. He looks me over, taking all of me in, making me feel nervous suddenly. “How can something that feels so right be wrong?”

I stare back at him. It’s now or never. I have to be honest with him. “I’m sorry, but your father’s rule is hypocritical and just plain ridiculous. You should be able to see whoever you want without feeling guilty about it.”

He raises a brow at my boldness. “I can’t say I disagree. But what am I supposed to do? I signed the twelve-month contract, and I can’t risk losing the hotel to the wife he married on a whim. If it was just me it was going to affect, I would do it in a heartbeat, but it’s Em’s legacy I’m risking as well,” he says sadly.

My heart sinks, wishing things could be different. That we met another time or that I had taken a job working for someone else, but if I didn’t, we wouldn’t be here together now.

I let out a sigh, knowing I need to have patience. Who am I to demand anything from him anyway. I have no idea how long I’m sticking around. I mean, I want to stay, but knowing how controlling my father is, he will probably come down here and drag me home kicking and screaming. “I understand.” And I really do. This is so important to both of them. I wouldn’t want to be the one to get in the way of their future happiness.

He takes my face in his hands, staring right into my eyes. “How can you be so understanding?”

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