Page 64 of Forbidden Desires

She pats me on the back. “I think I do. Get out of here before your name’s called.”

I beam back at her, knowing she’s right. I don’t belong here anymore. In Deception Bay with Brody is where I belong. If we can work out this mess and actually be together. And I just might have an idea of how we can. If the grumpy bastard can get over his hangups, stop pushing me away, and see this for what it is.

Chapter 31

Brody

Parker, Elliot, and Noah rolled up at my ranch an hour ago, a case of beer in tow, armed with some lame excuse about McAllister’s being too packed tohang out tonight. Emerson's well-intentioned fix-up crew was dispatched and is attempting to mend me this time. She’s been on my case since the scandal hit, wrapping me in bubble wrap and speaking to me as if I were a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any second. But I’m not falling apart. I have the scandal under control and legal proceedings dealt with. Despite the persistent ache in my chest, I don’t need them fixing anything, but even I can admit it’s nice to have a night off from the hotel and the boys around for a quiet drink.

I kick up my feet and crack open a bottle, the escaping hiss of the cap a harsh contrast to the soft crackle of the fire. The flames dance, casting flickering shadows across the room, where the four of us gather in its warm glow. It’s just started to get cold at night with the fall change in the air.

“Love the place,” Noah says, taking a spot on the sofa beside me. “Looks big enough for a family, though. You got something in the works you haven’t shared with your brothers?”

I give him a skeptical look, indicating my disinterest in discussing starting a family at the moment. I well and truly fucked that chance up this week. “Have you heard about the contract for your grandma’s place? Is it going ahead?”

He nods, pleased with himself. “Looks like it. There were a few things holding it up, but looks like I should be able to move out of the hotel in the early new year.”

“Good for you.”

“How’s Gisele traveling after Prescott's fucked-up article?” Elliot’s voice cuts through the crackling fire,asking what I know they're all thinking. It’s the reason they’re all here checking up on me.

I glance in his direction, irritation crawling up my spine. “Em says she left for New York two days ago, and I’ve heard nothing from her since,” I huff, the memory of Gisele’s eyes as she walked out of my office on Friday still haunting me. Hurting her was the last thing on my mind, but I had a huge fucking mess to clean up, and while I know it was my fault, not hers, her presence at The Alexander while it all unfolded only intensified the situation. I’m positive it was Victor who leaked the story to the press. He could have barged in at any moment. Couldn’t she see I didn’t want her trapped any more than she already was in my chaotic life? I pushed her away to protect her. To stop her from getting hurt more.

“You have no fucking idea about women.” Noah chuckles, and Elliot joins in, their laughter echoing against the wooden walls.

I shoot them an unimpressed glare. “She’s just vacationing here. New York is her home. I would be surprised if she came back after what happened. Why would she?”

“Because she has a home here, friends, you?” Parker says, an edge to his voice, his eyes searching mine for answers. Answers I can’t give him. I can always trust him to call me on my bullshit.

I give him a look, uncertain. Noah claps a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure she was just visiting her family, that’s what she told the girls. She hasn’t been back home in two months, she must miss them, right?”

“As you said, it’s her home. We’re just a stop, a vacation away from her real life. She came here to trysomething new, something different. She tried it, and she’s worked out she doesn’t want to be part of all the drama here, the constant whispers, so she left. Who could blame her?” I grumble, the words heavy on my tongue because I know how true they are. I knew one day she would have to go back. Why would she stay here? I’m not worth the trouble for her.

Noah looks at me more seriously. “You’re really going to just let her go back to New York and not even fight for her?” I know the two of them got to know each other when he was watching over her on night shifts, but he doesn’t understand what this is.

“What is there to fight for? I can’t make her stay if she doesn’t want to.” I hear the resignation in my own voice. I’m giving up on us. I am just like my father, so why wouldn’t I have my fun then walk away?

“I see what you’re doing, Alexander. A long time ago, I had one of my buddies call me out on my bullshit and set me straight. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have gone on to play for the Jacksonville Jaguars and achieve everything I did. Now it’s time to repay the favor. You’re about to mess up your life majorly. That girl is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and you’re just going to let her walk away for good?”

I look him over. He thinks I’m messing this up. She’s the one who wants to go back home, I can’t stop her.

“I get it. Your dad fucked you up. You know I get it better than most. But we gotta stop living in the past. I see the way you look at her; she’s someone really special to you, and I know she feels the same about you, she told me so. Don’t throw it away.”

I sit up straighter, my heart pounding hard. “She told you?”

He nods.

I can’t bullshit them. These guys know me better than anyone. I set my nearly untouched beer on the coffee table, my muscles impossibly tense. I crack my neck, trying to ease the tension. Noah’s right. I know I’m fucking this all up, but I don’t know how to stop myself. “It’s easier to block everyone out and just focus on how mad I am with my father. Even with Mama for reacting the way she did, for leaving me and Em,” I seethe through clenched teeth, my jaw so tight it feels like something’s going to crack. When I think about what happened, I’m taken back there to that seventeen-year-old kid, who wanted to hurt his father for everything he did to his family. For taking his mother away from him. The rage has been simmering inside of me for years, and I fought it off by ignoring it and pouring myself into my work. But now that I’m back here in this town, that fucking paper keeps thrusting it in my face, forcing me to relive it on repeat.

I run a hand through my hair, tugging at the ends. I have no fucking idea what I’m doing or how to make this better. I don’t know how to let someone else in, even if I know she’s worth it.

“Don’t waste your time being angry anymore for things you can’t change. You’re pushing away the only woman who ever put up with your bad temper and still wanted you around,” Elliot adds, his words cutting through the room. I’d hate him for it if I didn’t know how right he is.

I understand what they’re all saying, but it might be too late to fix this. “I might have messed this up beyond repair. When I was flying off the hook the day the story was released, she came to see me, to check on me. Iwent and told her it was just a fling. That she would eventually get sick of her vacation and go back to New York to her real life,” I admit, my voice tinged with regret. “I pushed her away. Dealing with this scandal was too much, and instead of facing it together like she suggested, I blocked her out. That’s why she took off on the first plane back to New York.”

The revelation hangs in the air, a heavy truth that suffocates the room. My friends exchange knowing glances. Elliot sighs. “You’re an asshole, you know that, right? You let your pride and fear mess things up with a girl who cares about you.”

Parker glances at his phone, a smile creeping onto his lips. “She gets into Savannah airport at 8 pm tonight. Paisley was going to pick her up.”

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