Page 36 of Words We Didn't Say

“Stop that,” she’d whisper, even though she’d arch her neck for my lips to find the soft spot below her ear.

These days, Eden floated through the door alone.

She didn’t hesitate when she spotted me through the crowd. She flipped her ponytail over her shoulder, smiled, waved, and doled out the charm like always…but not to me. She was proving a point. I hadn’t hurt her. No. I didn’t even exist.

Eden set a cup on the counter. White with—I adjusted my glasses—roosters. The rose gold mug she’d used every other day for the last three months sat beside her fluffy cat keychain on my kitchen counter. The only two things she’d left behind, and probably on purpose. I’d bought her both.

The cashier beamed the special smile she reserved just for Eden. “New mug?”

“New me.”

“Cute chickens.”

“Roosters,” Eden corrected, her grin turning sly. “A woman can never have too many c-o-c-k-s.” She winked at the cashier, but her head swivelled, her lips curved. She was making sure I’d heard her. She wanted to see my reaction.

If she turned a little more, she’d see my frown and the jealous eyes tinged with the misery of missing her. If anyone with a c-o-c-k dared to go near her, I wasn’t sure what I’d do. Something stupid, probably.

Eden stuffed a ten-dollar note in the tip jar and waved a few hellos. It didn’t take her long to start a conversation with a woman bouncing a baby on her hip. Eden avoided looking at the little blob with his mop of red fuzz, but he was determined to get her attention. He gurgled a laugh, and the moment his chubby fist squeezed her finger, her gaze found me across the room. I saw the flash. Pain. Just for a second. She screwed her eyes shut, and her throat bobbed hard when she swallowed.

Did Eden want…a…baby?

We’d never discussed it. Family was a no-go topic. She’d teared up the few times she’d mentioned her mother’s passing with a vague story about a car accident. Any mention of her father was instantly shut down. I hadn’t pushed. We had a lifetime to share our stories…or so I’d thought.

Had she wanted a baby—a lifetime—with me?Even though she’d never unpacked?

I stepped away from the wall.

Eden’s eyes rounded.

Please give me another chance.

I’d silently confessed how much I loved her a hundred times. More. Why had I taken her for granted? Why hadn’t I said the words? Even if she never came back, I still wished I’d told her I love her at least once.

I want a lifetime, too. A hundred little blobs with mops of fuzz.

I sidestepped through the crowd.

Eden’s head turned left and right, eyes wild, her forced smile cracking into full-blown panic. I paused. Raised my palm and took a slower step. She dived for the gap. She was on the run.

Shit.

The bell jingled.

Shit!

Eden was gone.

My coffee sat untouchedin the cupholder when I pulled up outside my parents’ place. The rooster mug was in the slot next to it. Eden never came back, and I couldn’t just leave it there.

I glanced out the windscreen at my parents’ split level. The modest orange bricks were darker in the shadows of the apartment buildings that had sprung up all around. Developers had offered them ludicrous amounts of money to sell up, but they’d said no. They clung to the suburban life and the idea of a big backyard for grandkids they may never have.

I scrubbed my palm down my face and breathed.

One…two…

Eden was supposed to be with me. My mother was about to fire questions at me I wasn’t ready to answer.

Three…four…

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