Page 76 of Words We Didn't Say

My hand went limp on his belt. I screwed my eyes closed. No, it wasn’t just my eyes that shut. My entire body shut down. The words I’d always begged him to whisper when we’d replayed my favourite fantasy echoed in my head.

I don’t fuck just anyone. I’m selective.

“Eden?”

Zach’s voice was cautious, but my response stayed glued to my tongue. I couldn’t speak. My heartbeat pounded in an erratic drumbeat, my fingers trembling on the cold belt buckle. There’d be no sweet relief of running away from my problems this time.

“You chose her,” I whispered.

Zach’s body went very still. The gentle pressure on my neck released. His hand disappeared from my thighs. “Michaela?”

My head bobbed. “You’re selective, right? Isn’t that what you always told me? You chose her.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

I pushed away from him. “Stop lying to me!” Suddenly feeling too exposed, I shoved down my dress.

“Okay. Okay.” Zach held up his palms and stepped back. “If you want the truth, we need to have a proper talk about what happened with Michaela.”

Cold wood disappeared from under my thighs. Strong arms wrapped around me. A few steps, and I was sinking into cream suede. Zach dragged the throw off the arm of the sofa, bundled me up in it, and booped me on the nose with a sad smile.

“Michaela and I are—” He paused like he was searching for the right word. “I don’t want to say we’re friends because we’re not.” He hunched beside me, his chin in his hand.

“She was your girlfriend,” I said flatly.

“No. I never thought of Michaela like that. We went to university together and had a few mutual friends, but we never dated. Our families are from totally different worlds. She comes from money and was driving around in a brand-new car, and I took the bus for years until I scrounged together enough money to buy an old beater my dad fixed up.” He sighed. “She still gives me shit about that car.”

“Can I interrupt to say one thing?”

“Please.”

“What a bitch. Sorry, but what the hell? I’d tell her where she can shove those sorts of comments.”

“I’ve called her out on it, although…maybe not quite as colourfully.” He smirked.

‘Colourful’ was probably exactly what that viper needed. “Sometimes, you need to be blunt,” I said. “It’s the only way you get heard.” I fought to keep the anger out of my voice. I hated he’d been treated that way, but I didn’t want him to clamp his mouth shut and stop talking now. I needed to understand what happened if we were to have any hope of moving on. “Is that why you slept with her? You were searching for some kind of acceptance?”

“No.” Zach took a deep breath but mainly spoke to the creamy tufts of the sofa he plucked at with his fingers. “When Mum was sick, I didn’t handle it. Honestly, that’s sugarcoating it. I was a mess. I was up for partnership and trying to slog through the same hours I do now, but somehow, I had to help my parents. Dad would be on his knees in the bathroom taking care of her while I tried to hold the rest of their life together. What the fuckdo I know about hospitals and running a household? Turns out, fuck all.”

I scooted closer to him and bundled him under the blanket with me. “I’m sure they appreciated your help,” I said softly.

His chin dipped in a nod. “No matter what happened, I’m glad my work suffered and not my parents.”

“Your boss didn’t support you?”

“Hell no. Work got ugly. I…” He shook his head. Shame washed over him, his shoulders slumping even lower into the sofa. We were back to the roadblock I’d seen at my place and here in his kitchen. “I, um…” His hand was trembling when he pulled it through his hair.

“It’s okay. Don’t go there.” I curled my arm around his waist and held him close. “Skip that bit. Tell me what happened after.”

He nodded. “Chris put me on forced leave and told me to see a therapist to sort out my shit or to not bother coming back.”

“Zach, that’s—”

“Just the way it is at Worley. Personal lives stay personal.”

I sat in stunned silence, but outrage burned a fiery trail through my veins. If one of my team was going through anything close to what Zach did, I’d be there helping, not telling them to fix it themselves. His boss sounded like an absolute bastard.

“The first night I was back, Chris took the team out for drinks to celebrate,” Zach said. “Mum hadn’t gotten the all-clear yet, though. What the hell was there to celebrate? I was so lost. I drank too much. Michaela sat with me, and she said we should get out of there…go back to her place…” His head bowed. “I said yes.”

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