Page 77 of Words We Didn't Say

“You didn’t want to?”

“I just wanted…someone. I felt so alone but had no one to talk to. Michaela said she didn’t want anything serious, and honestly, I never wanted a relationship with her. I’m not even sure I respect her anymore. Sleeping with her was a mistake. I felt likegarbage every time it was over, just so goddamn empty, and I vowed I’d never do it again. Somehow, she’d always convince me back for one more night. After the fourth time…work got busy for a few weeks and gave me an excuse to avoid her…and then…” His shoulder bumped into mine.

“Then?”

“This incredible woman floated into Brew HaHa, and I was a goner. Wonder who that could be?”

I beamed. “Me!”

He nodded. “Michaela still wanted to meet up, but I always turned her down after I saw you. She didn’t take it well. Got kinda aggressive about it and said some ugly shit in meetings. She tried rubbing my face in the fact she’d moved on to Chris, but I literally didn’t care. I was glad to shut the door on that part of my life.” A shy smile pushed at his cheeks. “The day I first talked to you at Clovelly, the reason I was out there was because Dad had called to let me know Mum was in remission. I hadn’t been to the beach in months, but for the first time in ages, it felt like there was space to be—I dunno—okay? And then you were there. It was one of the best days of my life. Officially a fresh start. Michaela wasn’t a part of my life then. She still isn’t. Not in any way that matters.”

I wanted to smile back, but flickers of anger swirled in my chest. If I hadn’t hated the viper woman before, I certainly did now. “She took advantage of you,” I said. “You were dealing with so much. She should’ve been supporting you and making you feel good in all ways, not playing stupid games and only being there when she wanted to bounce around on your, um…” I flashed a sheepish smile. “You know what I mean. And I say this as a master at avoiding problems with some bedroom action.”

“Like what you were trying to do before?” Zach’s tone was soothing, but the words arrowed right into my chest.

“I—I don’t know what you mean.”

“Adorable little liar. Why do you think I sometimes ask you to slow down?”

“You prefer long, torturous sex that lasts for hours?”

He laughed. “Yeah, sometimes, but also because I want you to think a bit longer about what you really want. If sex is really the answer. Tonight…is it?”

Dropping my gaze, I shook my head. “I don’t think I’m as ready as I thought,” I admitted.

“There’s no rush. Let’s take sex out of the equation until you’re ready.Reallyready.”

I hated to admit it, but Zach was right. We needed to solve some of our issues—and keep my vulva out of the conversation, like Andie had said. I sighed. Everyone was so much better at grown-up relationships than me.

“If we wait…” I said. “What about hugs?”

Zach smiled. “Nah, sorry, I need hugs. We can’t skip those.”

“What about kisses?”

“You can have as many kisses as you want.”

To prove his point, he bent over to peck a kiss on my cheek, but I whipped around to capture his lips instead. His eyes popped wide before fluttering closed, his hand finding my cheek and his mouth devouring mine.

Zach groaned and pulled back. “Okay, maybe not too many of those kisses. A man only has so much self-restraint.”

I grinned wickedly.

A hint of laughter edged his next groan. “Please takea littlepity on me. I am making you a nice dinner, after all.”

“Pity is only for men who know how to make delicious desserts.”

“Oh, there’sdessert,”he drawled, then sat bolt upright. “And, ah…not in a dirty way. I’m actually making a dessert.”

“What is it?” I bounced up and down, clapping my hands. “Tell me! Tell me!”

“Tiramisu.”

“That’s my favourite!”

Zach kissed my forehead. “I know.”

21

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