Page 20 of Forsaking His Mate

What shitty luck is it that my mate would be here, the one place where I feel I can exist without endangering anyone?

I have to leave.

I grab a bag from under the bed, tossing it on the mattress, but I don’t move to fill it. I want to go, but I can’t; I’m too dangerous. Hester’s magic is all that keeps me from sliding into madness.

Fuck.

I would have to find another witch willing to deal with a wolf, and since full-blooded witches hate our kind, that is never going to happen.

I run a hand over my face, forcing myself to think of a solution. I never expected to find my mate here. I am thousands of miles from my old pack, and these wolves are hybrids, most of them more witch than wolf. I thought that would prevent them from mating, from experiencing the mating bond. I didn’t realize theycould be drawn to their mates the same way as full-blooded shifters.

Fuck, fuck,fuck!

I try to calm my racing thoughts. This is a nightmare; one I don’t know how to wake up from.

My wolf doesn’t agree. He wants me to shift and go to our mate. His insistence is so compelling I start toward the door and have to stop myself.

I can’t.

A knock on the door has me twisting toward it, like it’s a live grenade. It’s not Tessa, which is the only thing that stops me from losing my shit. It’s Hester, but I don’t know what the fuck I’m meant to say to her.

“I know you’re in there, Abel Tanner.” Hester’s voice is muffled through the door, but it is firm and laced with annoyance.

I huff out a breath, knowing she’s not going to leave until I talk to her. I go to the door, pulling it open.

My cabin is small, just one room with a kitchen and a bed. The other cabins have more space, but I never wanted much, and this is just where I sleep. I usually eat at the main house—or I did. I won't be able to do that anymore.

Hester’s gaze slides around the room before stopping on the empty bag on the bed. “Going somewhere?”

“I don’t know,” I admit.

“What happened back there? Tessa’s a mess and you’re running.”

It doesn’t feel good to hear that. I don’t want to destroy the woman, but I’m not going to try to save her either.

“You need to keep her the fuck away from me.”

Hester takes my outburst without reproach. “Abel, talk to me.”

I lower my head, trying to breathe through the pain in my chest. My wolf is pissed at me and making it known very clearly. “She’s… mine.”

It hurts to admit that, and my heart squeezes a little tighter.

Hester frowns, then her eyes widen. “She’s your mate?”

“As soon as I scented her, my wolf went wild. Hers too. She tried to shift.”

She screamed. I remember that. Hearing it nearly pushed me over the edge and forced my wolf free. My claws had broken the skin, but I stopped the transformation. If I'd relinquished control to my wolf, I would have been helpless to stop the mating bond from snapping fully into place.

The silence is deafening as Hester tries to work through her thoughts. She knows me well enough to know what coming face-to-face with my mate would do to me.

“You rejected her?” she guesses.

“What was I supposed to do? I can’t have a mate, Hester.”

“Fate doesn’t care about what you want, Abel. She’s yours. The fact you’re both here together at the same time says this is meant to be.”

I growl, sounding more animal than man at this moment. “I don’t believe in fate.”

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