Page 38 of Forsaking His Mate

I nearly killed her when the moon sickness came over me. I won’t become my father.

I won’t kill my mate as he did his.

I left my pack to keep those around me safe. It killed me to do it, but it was the right decision. How could I possibly sit among people I cared about, knowing I am a bomb waiting to go off?

The bond tugs at me and I’m suddenly aware of her presence.

I lift my gaze from the grocery bags I was unloading and see her in the distance and stare out of the kitchen window.

She’s walking from her cabin toward the lake.

I’ve noticed she spends a lot of time there, as much as she can anyway now that the weather is turning colder.I wonder if it brings her the peace I stole from her when I rejected her.

My heart thuds and the desire to go to her nearly has my feet moving. I force myself to remain still even as my wolf whines. He doesn’t care that I might kill her. He just wants me to soothe his mate.

I want that too.

“If you were going to reject her again you should never have marked her as yours.” Hester’s voice from behind me has me twisting. I don’t miss the judgment in her tone.

I deserve that and more.

She’s right. I should never have given Tessa the mark. I should never have cemented the mating bond either.

“I never intended to do that,” I say, my voice defensive.

“But you did, Abel, and now she’s yours and you’re not interested. It’s cruel.”

I am interested, and that’s the problem. I feel her in my head all the time, and unlike my old pack bond, she can’t be silenced. I wouldn’t silence her even if I could; there’s something comforting about her presence in my mind.

“What do you want me to do?” I demand. “I nearly killed her, Hester.”

She shakes her head as she steps into my space, rummaging in the bag of groceries in front of me. “You were already calming down when I got there. She did that. Tessa.”

I stare at the bags littering the counter.

Every week, I drive to Laurel Falls and get groceries and supplies for the girls. Leaving the sanctuary is risky for them. Their tau blood is a beacon to any hunters who may be in the area and I suspect the ones we killed will not be the last to come here.

I’d disposed of them and covered their trail, but it is only a matter of time before more hunters come to find their missing friends. I don’t want them to find any scent but mine. They will not care about a lone wolf roaming the mountains and woods.

“You’re a stubborn asshole, Abel. She’s hurting.”

My chest aches at her words, because they're true. Tessa is hurting and I want to protect her from that pain.

“If I end up killing her, how much do you think that’s going to hurt us both?” I snap.

“She’s made for you. She brought you out of that feral state with just the mating bond. I’ve never heard of that happening.”

I haven’t either. It certainly hadn’t worked for my mother. “You think her magic helped?” I ask.

“I think the universe gave her to you for a reason, Abel. I know you’re scared, but she was made for you.”

I let my gaze drift back to the window as Tessa disappears from my sight.

The panic that shoots through my chest has me gripping the counter top. It’s only the fact I can feel her in my mind that stops me from freaking the fuck out.

“I’m scared,” I admit.

Hester turns to me and gives me a warm smile. “I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

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