Page 41 of Crash & Burn

The headlining band and the tour managers are going to be watching how the crowd reacts to us, if they like us, hate us, don’t care about us, and now that the show we have been prepping for is finally here, I can’t help but feel the nerves kick in.

“You good?” I hear Mia ask. I turn to see her standing next to me in her coffee-stained white hoodie that she put on when Mateo refused to turn off the AC during the last thirty minutes of our ride.

“That’s a good look,” I tease, gesturing to the stain on her stomach. “A good memory too. Haven’t caught you checking me out in a while,” I tease, alluding to the day she got the stain and when this whole mess of her and me began. Even though it is a complete lie because I caught her this morning. I tried to pretend I didn’t notice because it is almost unfair how often I go unnoticed watching her.

Every time I look at her, I wish there was someone who would takeherpicture. She’s always the one behind the camera, but, if it were up to me, she would be the one at the center ofeveryone’sattention because she’s always at the center of mine.

“You wish, Ramirez,“ she retorts before setting her camera bag down at her feet to pull her hoodie off over her head. I try to ignore the stupid grin on my face at how cute she looks with her hair all messed up, and I can’t help myself from reaching out and fixing it for her, lightly flattening some strands and brushing a piece behind her ear.

She looks up at me with her pretty brown eyes, and it is the same look she gave me at the gas station right before Mateo came out. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she wanted me to kiss her. I am constantly reminding myself that we are just friends, and this reaction I have to her is platonic, but I don’t think there is anything platonic about that look.

Before I can do or say anything that further shows that she has got me in the palm of her hand, I hear Mateo call for her from behind me.

“What?” she asks, looking past me as she picks her camera bag back up and hangs her sweatshirt over her arm.

“Where’s your band tee?” Mateo asks.

“Oh,” Mia says, looking down at her T-shirt that does not have the Cross My Heart logo on it, “I may have accidentally left it in my dryer.”

Mateo runs his fingers through his hair before telling her he’ll get her one from the boxes of merch we have.

“No need,” she says. “Eddie said I can wear his.”

“What?” I say, and I find her looking at me as if she knows that I can’t say no to her.

“He did?” Mateo says, and he has a slight tone of annoyance. “Okay, well make sure you have one tonight.”

“Yes, sir,” Mia says, giving him a two-finger salute. He turns around and she flips off his back with the same hand.

“When did I say I was lending you my shirt?” I ask.

“When you said two could play at this game,” she explains, and my puzzled look gives away that I have no idea what her angle is. I left our last exchange thinking I had the upper hand, but I am starting to understand Mia has a way of making me question my own reality. “Come on, raindrop. Just think about how good I’ll look in yourT-shirt.” She adds.

I don’t even register the nickname. Instead, my breath hitches, and my mind goes to dirty places that should most definitely not involve my best friend’s little sister in nothing but myT-shirt.

Now, I know her angle.

And she knows exactly how to kill me.

I clear my throat and find the chain around my neck. I lightly pull it from where it is resting around my neck as if it is what is making it hard for me to breathe. Mia is smirking up at me, looking at me with a challenge that I just can’t resist.

“You’re right, sunshine. I’ve only ever seen that in my dreams.” I give her a wink before the mention of dreams reminds me of earlier today. “Speaking of dreams,” I add.

Her smile briefly fades before she recovers, and I assume I got her where I want her, regretting provoking me. “Are you ready to tell me about the one you had today?” I add.

It isn’t until the smirk fades and the light in her face disappears that I realize I ruined the good thing we had going, and I crossed a line.

Before I can try to apologize or change the subject, she says, “I’m going to look around. Need to plan my shots, so I’m ready for tonight. Good luck with sound check.”

With that, she hurries away, and I wish the ground would swallow me whole.

I don’t get a moment with Mia for the rest of the day. Ikeepan eye on her as shewalksaround the venue, does some practice shots, and messes with the settings on the camera, and not one time did she look at me.

Sound check went fine, and we took some time to introduce ourselves to all the bands. It finally hitsme how wewillbe playing with bands we look up to, but thereisstill a pit in my stomach at the way I left things with Mia.

When itistime to head back to the hotel, I ask Mateo where Miaiswith the excuse that I needto get myT-shirt to her, and hesaysshe had already gone back to the hotel. I don’t know how to ask what room she is in without setting off alarms with Mateo, so when he and Igetto the hotel room we are sharing, I give him the T-shirt so he could get it to Mia.

I went the rest of the afternoon without seeing her but being able to perfectly picture the look on her face when I pushed her too far.

---