Page 55 of Crash & Burn

The one that keeps the line between us clearly drawn.

“Just for a little while,” he answers.

I fall asleep that night to the sound of Eddie humming a tune that sounds oddly familiar, but in my tired state, I don’t have the energy to try to figure out what song it is.

Chapter 18

Eddie

Watching Mia sleep is my own personal hell. My shirt she isstillwearing is way too big and rides up every time she moves, and she is quite the mover in her sleep. She also must run hot because she keeps kicking off the blanket every time I try to cover her, exposing her bare legs.

I don’t know why I’m still here. I was clear with her that I would stay until she fell asleep on the opposite side of the bed, but I can’t bring myself to leave.

When she opened her hotel room door, it was like seeing clearly after walking through fog. After talking to Mateo after our show and letting him know I would be spending the rest of the night at the hotel room, I was moving on autopilot, letting my body go through the motions. I was trying to stay busy until it was late enough to go to sleep, but I couldn’t do anything besides think of a certain blonde with lips that were made for me.

Lips that I will never taste again because she will never be mine.

She never can be.

Not when she is my best friend’s little sister.

Especially not when I am as broken as they come.

Her panic attack is proof that she is still healing, and the story she told me tonight just proves that the last thing she needs is me, who is falling apart by the second, while she is still putting herself back together.

I can’t believe she is still standing after what she went through.

In my experience,talkingabout what broke you is almost as hard as experiencing it.

All I wanted to do tonight was hold her and kiss her head, and tell her that I will make everything better. I want to take her into my arms, bring her into my lap, and protect her from anything that has ever and will ever hurt her.

But I can’t.

So this is hell.

I can’t stop watching her. Her chest slowly rises and falls, soft noises coming from her mouth. The bed is big enough for there to be a few feet between us, but she is the sun with a gravitational pull, and I am the moon, with no choice but to revolve around her.

I slowly move closer, careful not to wake her, and careful tokeep my distance. There is about a foot of the sheet between us, so I lean back against the headboard, one hand behind my head and one resting on my chest, trying to keep my hands to myself.

I turned off the bedside lamp when she fell asleep, but her blonde waves and pink lips are impossible not to see. She looks so calm and at ease, nothing like how she looked when she fell asleep in the car this morning.

I still feel the pull.

My mind doesn’t have time to tell my body to stop. I slowly reach my hand out because I can’t forget what her cheek feels like against my fingertips. Her skin is warm and soft, and it takes everything in me to not take her in my arms, so I can feel the skin of her arms, her legs, her neck, all of her, against me.

I tell myself I’ve had enough, but as I begin to pull my hand away, she stirs.

Still asleep, she flips her body in my direction, quickly crossing the invisible line I put between us. Her leg crosses over her body and falls over my waist, her arm now draping over me, caging me in against her as if answering my selfish prayers. Her head finds its rightful spot on my chest, and I can’t do anything but stay where I am.

I was wrong.

Watching Mia sleep was not my own personal hell.

Thisis.

***

It is safe to say I got no sleep.

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