Page 78 of Crash & Burn

I will keep my feelings in check if it means getting bits and pieces of what it would be like if I was his. I don’t know if I could handle having all of him anyway, not because I don’t want him but because I just got myself back.

He doesn’t deserve someone who can’t give him everything.

Walking away from him was for both of our benefits.

I can be strong enough for both of us.

I can keep this line drawn.

As long as it means that I don’t have to completely let him go.

The rest of last night, I tried to keep a healthy distance while also subjecting myself to ahealthynumber of glimpses and glances Eddie’s way. I didn’t even care if he caught me because I was drunk off the night, high on the feeling of knowing that he feels the same way about me, even though we can’t do anything about it.

He doesn’t have to tell me.

I would actually rather he didn’t because I wouldn’t be able to hold my ground if I heard the words come from his beautiful lips.

But I know.

I know he feels for me the same way I feel for him.

But he is off-limits.

We all said our goodbyes around midnight, and I walked home on my own. All the non-band members agreed to meet at Lenny’s before the show tomorrow, the last one being close enough for everyone to be able to attend. Mateo even said I could leave my camera at home which meant my only job for the show was to enjoy it.

The walk home was quick and easy, only being a few blocks away from Karaoke MKE, and my cheeks were sore from smiling, my voice scratchy from singing, and my heart was full.

I’m hoping tonight is the same.

I take an Uber to Lenny’s, not wanting to have to worry about my car tonight. The show tonight is walkable from Lenny’s, and the forecast is clear and warm for tonight.

Luke is working behind the bar tonight, but Emmett is closing early tonight so everyone can go to the show.

“Hi, Mia,” Luke says, as he makes a drink for one of the men sitting at the bar. Coming to Lenny’s so much this summer, I learned who the regulars are relatively quickly. I also learned that the clientele for this bar is the widest spectrum I have ever seen, ranging from just over twenty-one to old enough to be my grandpa, but it works. Emmett has created such a great place here.

“Are Annie and Drew here?” I ask him as I look around the bar. The high-top tables are more occupied than usual, probably because of the bar’s distance to tonight’s concert venue and because of the weather.

“Not yet,” he answers, pouring a Tequila Sunrise for me. It is an inside joke between us because one of the nights I was here when he was working, he asked what my drink of choice was. I was editing photos for one of the other bands I worked with this summer while the band was practicing next store, but I needed a change of scenery. I told him I didn’t have one, always opting for a White Claw or whatever white wine is on the menu.

He told me those were boring and spent his shift making different drinks for me until I told him which one I liked best.

Apparently, I’m a tequila girl.

Luke sets the drink down on the coaster he set for me. “Just wait here until they get here,” he says.

I look around to see if our usual high-top table is open, but there is a group of girls there. The table way in back is open, probably because it is dark and in one of the corners where Emmett doesn’t have a neon sign. “I’ll just wait at the table back there.”

“Where?” Luke asks before he matches my gaze to find where I’m looking. “No,” he denies.

“No?” I take a sip of my drink, instantly feeling the tequila warm my throat as I swallow the alcohol coated with the perfect amount of citrus and sweetness.

“I can’t see you from there. Just wait here for them, okay?”

Does this bar have ayou need to be overly protective to work hereclause?

Between Luke, Emmett, and Eddie, you would think us girls were made of glass.

Luke must see my slight discomfort over what he said so he adds, “Eddie would murder me if I let you out of my sight when he isn’t here to watch you, and I know how that sounds. Trust me, Annie’s catch phrase is ‘Fuck off, I can take care of myself’, but please? It’ll make me feel better.” He brings his hand together when he says “please” and throws me one of his million dollar smiles, and I can’t say no to him.

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