Page 121 of Crash & Burn

Her eyes go from me to Daisy way too quickly, and I’m suddenly jealous of my dog for stealing all the attention. “Oh my goodness, who is this beautiful girl?” Mia goes straight to kneel by Daisy, her puppy voice being much cuter than Luke’s or Annie’s. Daisy rolls over on her back, her tongue hanging out as Mia rubs her belly.

“Daisy has been waiting to meet you.” I kneel down with my girls, and the smile on my face is so big that it hurts. There is nothing forced about it. Being with Mia has allowed me to forget to put on the mask, remembering that there is no need to pretend around her.

Mia talks to Daisy, telling her how cute she is, and Daisy is as calm, cool, and collected as always, tail slightly wagging as she takes in all the love.

It is moments like these that remind me that I am capable of being whole again. I am capable of putting the pieces back together.

I clear my throat. “Uh, Mia.”

She looks up at me with those pretty brown eyes, and I know I love her. I also know I’m not ready to tell her yet.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” she says, stretching out the word. She goes from kneeling to sitting down next to Daisy’s bed, slowly petting Daisy’s head. I can tell her mind is spinning with what I’m about to say, so I don’t make her suffer.

“I started therapy.”

Her face goes from worried to surprise in seconds, and then a huge smile blooms on her face.

“What? That’s great!”

That is what I love about Mia. Her first question wasn’t why, like my sisters asked when I told them. Instead, she just said more than I could have ever asked for. Her reaction is what I needed, telling me it is a good thing. Agreatthing. Because I amnotbroken beyond repair.

“Yeah, I went because I wanted to prove to myself that I could be the man you deserved, but the first session came and went. I couldn't even make it to the door. The second one, I just sat there. I didn’t say a word the whole time. The woman probably thought I was insane.

“It wasn’t until the third session that I felt like talking. Starting with why I wanted to come, ending with telling her that I didn’t want to feel so broken anymore. It wasn’t until the fourth session that I realized therapy wouldn’t work if I went to prove something to you. While I want you to see me as someone strong enough to take care of you, I realized that I wanted to see myself as someone strong enough to be worthy of you.”

“Eddie,” she says, and I see her eyes cloud. “You have always been worthy. I’ve always known it, but I’ve been waiting for you to see it too.” She reaches out to cup my cheek in her hand. “I amsoproud of you. For taking the step to heal. It’s not easy, but I’m here for you.”

She leans in, taking her hand from Daisy to cup my other cheek. She pulls me in, and I see a tear stray from those eyes that have been on my brain since that night last summer. “Someone once told me that we all are seconds away from falling apart, but that is why we have people who help hold us together. It doesn’t make us any less capable or any less strong, but it makes us much less alone.”

“Thank you, sunshine. I couldn’t have done it without you. You have shown me, time and time again, what it means to live. You’ve reminded me how good it feels to justfeel, and I don’t want to lose that.”

My lips gently touch hers, leaving a kiss before I drop another bomb on her. “Also, are you busy tomorrow night?”

She slightly tilts her head, backing away enough for me to see the confusion all over her face. “Why?”

“I want you to meet my mom. My sisters too.”

There is that smile again. The one that makes my heart stop.

“Eddie, of course! I would love to.”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow night after I’m done with band practice. My mom is making dinner and my sisters will be there too.”

“I can’t wait,” she says, leaning in to leave another kiss on my lips. “This is a big step, raindrop. Meeting the family.”

“You make me want to take all these big steps. Remember, I’m all in.”

“Me too,” she says.

It takes longer than I thought to unravel myself from Mia on my bedroom floor, but I can still taste her lips on mine as we take Daisy for a walk. We stop at the dog park near my place, but there is mud everywhere from the rain we got early this morning.

Daisy is well-behaved, and she is usually very calm. This is the first time I’ve taken her to the dog park and she hates it. She refuses to leave my side, even when I take her leash off to run.

Mia tries to get her to play fetch with the tennis ball we brought, but it is no use.

“It’s okay, Daisy,” Mia says as she clips her leash back on. “The dog park isn’t for everyone. I would always rather be home too.”

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