Page 128 of Crash & Burn

He parks in the lot outside my apartment complex, and we walk to my apartment, hand-in-hand but still not letting the other one know what is on our minds.

It isn’t until we are on my couch that I let the tears I’ve been holding in all night, both happy and sad, stream down my face.

“No, baby. Please. Please don’t cry. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. Please, just don’t cry.” Eddie pulls me into his lap, and I lean my head against his chest, letting out a sob as I begin to feel everything I pushed down earlier.

It takes me a few minutes to catch my breath, the tears subsiding after giving them a chance to fall.

“I can’t,” is all I can say.

“Can’t what? Please, Mia. Tell me what’s wrong.”

I take a breath, sliding off his lap, crossing my legs underneath me and facing my body towards him.

“I’m in love with you, Eddie.”

His eyes light up and his mouth slightly opens. He grabs me by the face, bringing me in, kissing me hard.

He pulls away, leaving his forehead resting against mine.

“Then why are you crying, sunshine? Because you just made me the happiest man on this fucking planet.”

“Eddie, I want to love you. So badly, withallmy heart, withallmy soul, but I can’t. I just can’t.”

“I love you too, baby. So much. More than I thought I was capable of. Please don’t say you can’t. I know you can.” He leans back, taking my hands in his and bringing both to his lips, leaving kisses on all of my knuckles. The gesture is so sweet that it makes my vision even blurrier.

I try to continue, not wanting us to fall victim to the miscommunication tropes Drew is always talking about in the romance books she reads.

I want to tell him what I’m feeling, in hopes that he can help me figure it out. “There is a part of me that will always belong to someone else, and I can’t give it to you. It isn’t fair for me to ask for all of you when I can’t give you all of myself.”

He lets go of one of my hands to bring his up to my cheek, grazing the warm, damp skin, as he wipes a stray tear with his thumb.

“Mia, Nico meant the world to you.” More tears fall. “You grew up together. He changed you. He taught you things about yourself. Those same things I love about you. You will always love him. I wouldneverask you to give me the part of you that will always be with him.” I let out a small breath, trying to get air moving in my lungs. “Baby, he was your first love, but I intend to be yourlast.”

Chapter 43

Eddie

It’s officially wedding weekend, and I can’t believe we are finally here. Drew and Emmett chose the first weekend of October which is perfect because we leave for tour next Friday.

Mia, Annie, and Drew did all the planning, bringing in me, Luke, and Emmett when they needed us. In the end, we all pulled in together, and it is going to be one hell of a weekend.

The wedding is tomorrow, so we are using our Friday night for the rehearsal dinner at the hotel near their venue. We are headed back to Cityscape after we rehearse the small ceremony, and then we are up bright and early to do all the wedding stuff tomorrow.

The end of August and all of September flew by. Between band practices, picking up more shifts at Lenny’s with Annie officially gone as of the last weekend, waiting for Emmett to fill her spot, balancing time with Mia, friends, and family. October came out of nowhere.

Our record label, Thousands Sun Records, is also on my ass about getting a few more songs for them for the EP we are supposed to release at the end of the year. Luckily, songwriting has never been easier than it is now, having inspiration at my fingertips,literally.

Mia intertwined herself into my life so seamlessly, I forgot what it was like without her.

And I hope I never have to know.

We still haven’t told Mateo about us, so the guilt of not only fooling around with his little sister, but falling in love with her is still heavy in my stomach.

What I do know is, I never want to let her go.

Having her meet my mom, Isa, Lucia, and Carmen, that night, has forever changed me. I saw a future, and, for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel the past pulling me down. Going to the September monthly dinner solidified that even more.

When I took Mia home that night in August, and she opened up about how she was feeling about loving me, I can’t say I hadn’t thought it was a possibility myself.

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