Page 136 of Crash & Burn

“Mateo, come on. The tour is next week. Let’s just talk about this. You can’t kick me out of the band.”

Mateo takes a step closer to me, and says in a voice scarier than his voice raising. “Watch me.”

He turns to leave, but Mia grabs his arm. “Mateo, wait. Please. Just let us explain. This isn’t just a fling or fooling around. This is real. We wanted to tell you, share it with you, but I wanted to wait until your work stuff died down and the stress with the tour subsided. Please, just talk to us.”

“No, I’m done. Done with this. Done withhim. Done with you. Don’t bother coming on tour either. I’ll have the label’s photographer come. I’m done, Mia.”

Mia looks like his words slapped her across the face.

“Camila,” is all she says, and both Mateo and I look at her. I know that is her full-name, but I also know she doesn’t use it. She says Mateo only uses it when…

Oh. Realization hits me hard, and my heart breaks in half for her. Knowing these two so well, watching what is about to happen is like when you watch two cars crash. Knowing it is coming, but you can’t do anything about it.

“You call me ‘Camila’ when you’re mad.”

“I’m not mad at you, Mia.” The wordsI’m disappointedare left unsaid, but Mia hears them loud and clear.

Her head falls, and I have to fight against my own body to resist the urge to go to her, to bring her in my arms, to protect her from all of this.

But I can’t.

We knew this could happen.

I think that is why we lied to ourselves, telling ourselves, and each other, that we were waiting for Mateo’s benefit. But that wasn’t the case.

I know that now.

And I think Mia does too.

“You have to get ready,” Mateo says as he walks towards the door. “We’re not going to ruin Emmett and Drew’s day. Put a smile on your face and pretend. You’re good at that,” he says to both of us, but I know who the comment was for.

He walks out without another word, and Mia falls to her knees by the foot of the bed, her sobs start coming out hard, like she can’t catch her breath.

She is having a panic attack.

“Mia, baby,” I say, my feet moving as fast as they can, bending down to her and bringing her to my chest. She’s hyperventilating, her eyes closed, her chest moving up and down way too fast. There is no way her lungs are filling.

My sister, Lucia, used to have panic attacks. They started the night that I finally stood up to my dad. That’s how I know that Mia needs to breathe, come back down from where her mind is holding her captive, and breathe.

“Come back to me, sunshine. There you go. Take a deep breath in for me.” I take a deep breath in myself and let it out. I take in another, exhale, and she breathes in with me this time.

“That’s my girl. One more for me, okay?” We take a deep breath in together before we exhale it out. Her eyes slowly open, the redness around those pretty brown eyes ripping me to shreds.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like that,” she whispers, more to herself than me. I hug her closely, kissing the top of her head.

“I know,” I whisper into her hair. “I know.”

Chapter 47

Mia

I hate myself for letting this happen. I hate how I disappointed Mateo, how I got between him and Eddie, and how this had to happen today of all days.

The last thing I would ever want is to make today about me, or Eddie, or Mateo. Not when it is supposed to be about Drew and Emmett.

After Eddie picked me up off the floor,literally, we decided it would be best to focus on the wedding, being there for Drew and Emmett, and not letting on to anyone what happened this morning.

Not ideal.

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