Page 16 of Crash & Burn

I walk over to the sink and splash some water on my face to cool down, bringing my hands down my neck and chest, hoping to ease the heat that bloomed there.

It’s been years since I thought about music in a way that wasn’t defeating or degrading, and I don’t know what to do with all the feelings I’m having.

Photography, music, my confidence, andfeelingin general—these are all things I gave up on when I lost Nico, and I never planned on getting any of them back.

Knock, knock.

“One second!” I say before giving myself a quick once-over in the mirror, and then heading back out to the bar.

I open the door expecting my brother, but I end up finding a face I am getting all too familiar with.

“Hey,” Eddie says with a small smile that leans towards one side of his face. He has to look down to account for our height difference, and our eyes lock, my feet glued to the floor. At this angle, I can see the scar on his face more clearly.

“Hi,” I manage to reply, not being able to hide where my eyes follow the lighter, slightly raised skin, starting at his forehead and leading down across his eye to the middle of his cheek where a tiny dimple threatens to show.

A few beats pass before either of us say anything, and I feel the air get heavier with every second that ticks by.

“Um,” he starts before ripping his eyes from me and looking over my head. “Your brother was looking for you,” he says to the wall behind me.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” I unglue my feet from the floor and walk around Eddie who seems like he’s in no hurry to move, and I make my way back out to the bar where the rest of the guys are.

“There you are,” my brother says. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Oh, sure.” I turn to Emmett and Luke who are still behind the bar. “Do you guys have White Claw?”

Emmett lets out a chuckle at a joke only he is in on before he says, “Yes, we do.” He pulls out a lime White Claw and pops the tab for me as I take a seat at the bar next to Theo who is turned the other way talking to Silas and my brother who is standing between them.

“So, Mia,” Luke begins, and I turn my attention from Emmett to him. “What’s your story? Mateo mentioned you’re going to be taking pictures for them. Are you a photographer?”

There’s something about how Luke talks that makes you feel like you’re the only one in the room. His blue eyes are focused on me, and I start to feel a little exposed. I’ve dealt with guys like him before, harmless flirts that still manage to make you feel like they want to know every inch of you. Even though he’s not my type, I feel my body warm at the attention. As I’m about to tell him that I just got back into photography after taking a little break from it, I feel a familiar presence behind me.

“Beer, please.”

I see Luke’s eyes move frommineto the ones behind me, and a smirk graces his lips. It’s the kind of smirk that hints that he knows something I don’t know. I look over my shoulder to find Eddie standing just behind my chair. His usual smile and friendly demeanor is gone, and he’s staring daggers at Luke as if he just walked into something he didn’t like.

“Sure thing,” Luke says before finding my eyes again and giving me a wink. He turns and pulls out a beer before uncapping it and handing it to Eddie.

The rest of the night is relatively uneventful. I find myself on the outside of conversations, and I don’t mind. Usually, with this many people, it feels crowded, but there’s something about this group that feelsnormal. At one point, the conversation moves towards the band and the upcoming shows. Mateo, Silas, and Theo fill Luke and Emmett in on where the shows are and what days, so they can try to make it to the venues nearby.

I notice Eddie is quiet, standing next to Mateo. He follows the conversation, and it’s interesting how he easily falls into the background. It seems deliberate, like he’s making sure that everyone gets their turn for his undivided attention.

“Mia, do you play any instruments?” Luke asks me, pulling me back to the moment and into the conversation.

“No, piano lessons didn’t stick with me like they did with Mateo.”

Luke turns to Mateo. “Wait, I thought you sang.”

Mateo takes a sip of his beer before explaining, “Yeah, singing is my main focus, but I started with piano before taking voice lessons when I was young and then I learned to play bass.”

“What about you?” Luke asks Eddie. “Do you only play drums?”

“I play guitar, just acoustic though.”

“Wait, you play guitar?” I turn to Eddie. I have to twist in my chair to face where he’s standing next to my brother.

He looks down at me and nods his head as he takes a sip of his beer.

I’m not sure why I’m surprised. The drums seem so different than the guitar, especially an acoustic one, so it’s hard to picture Eddie going from one to the other.

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