Page 18 of Crash & Burn

It isn’t a lie, but it definitely isn’t the whole truth. I don’t want to tell him I want Eddie to teach me how to play guitar, so I can try to figure out this damn song that invades my mind to the point of wanting to claw my own brain out of my head.

I’ve never told Mateo about the song Nico was writing for me, or how every time I think I’m remembering it, it disappears out of my grasp, or sends me into a panic attack. It might make sense to tell my brother, especially with how musically inclined he is, but it’s something I want to figure out myself.

I owe it to Nico.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mateo nodding his head. He either believes me or he is trying to figure out the holes in my explanation.

If he knows I’m avoiding telling the entire truth, he doesn’t show it. “Okay, I’ll find someone to teach you.”

“What?” My voice raises a few octaves. I clear my throat before continuing, “What do you mean? Eddie agreed to teach me.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

I let out a dramatic groan. “Ugh, don’t worry, Mateo. I don’t want to bang your friend.”

“Um, ew. No. No. There will be no banginganyone.” He shivers before adding, “And absolutely no talk of banging.” I can’t help but laugh at my brother’s discomfort at my statement. Like I said, I don’t have any hang-ups talking about sex because I think it is important to talk about it to negate the societal stigma that comes with it. Apparently, my brother has his own hang-ups. Or maybe because it’s his little sister who is the one talking about it.

“Then what’s the big deal if Eddie teaches me?” Sure, there’s attraction there, but him teaching me how to play guitar will be a professional relationship. He’s my brother’s friend and he’s just doing me a favor, and I’m sure he doesn’t even think of me like that anyway. I have enough going on in my mind to catch feelings for Eddie, no matter how hot he is, so there’s nothing for any of us to worry about.

Right?

Mateo thinks on this for a few minutes before concluding, “Fine, but you can’t be taking up his time this close to our shows. You guys can have your lessons in the warehouse during breaks at our practices or when we have down time between shows.”

That reminds me. “How are we getting from show to show?”

“Theo and Silas will be driving the van with all of our equipment, which means you will be driving with Eddie and me.”

I nod my head as I absorb this.

So, in two weeks, I will be road-tripping around the Midwest with my brother and my brother’s best friend who is teaching me how to play guitar so I can uncover the memory of a song my dead boyfriend wrote for me.

Cool. What could possibly go wrong?

Chapter 7

Eddie

What the hell am I doing? Why did I agree to help Mia learn how to play guitar? I told Mateo I would keep my distance and not put anything else on her already-full plate, yet here I am, on my way to practice with my drumsticks in one hand and my guitar case in the other.

I thought Mia didn’t even like music, so what made her want to learn?

Isn’t photography her thing?

Doesn’t she hate music?

Shut up, Eddie, I tell myself.

Honestly, how bad will it be? A few teaching sessions in between practicing our setlist, and she will have it down in no time.

Mia is a smart girl, and the guitar isn’t that hard to learn. I learned when I was in elementary school, and if I can do it, so can she. I’ll just teach her the basics, and she can learn the rest on her own.

I haven’t seen Miainalmost a week ago because she hasn’t been at our weekday band practices. When I asked about her, Mateo first accused me of caring too much about where she was and told me to fuck off.Heeventually told me that she was finishing up the last week of her nannyingjob when I assured him Iwas only asking because Ineeded to know when I had to bring my guitar to practice.

That seemed to settle him down.

Even though, in all honesty, I wasn’t even thinking about the lessons when I asked.

With Mia not being around this week, my mind has been solely on the setlist and making sure our sound is exactly where it needs to be for the upcoming shows. Our first show for this run is the first Saturday of July which is already in exactly one week. We aren’t “officially” on tour with these bands, but they are letting us play before the openers for the shows near our home base. If all goes well, we are hoping they will bring us on tour as openers for their U.S. tour which is happening next summer.

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