Page 91 of Crash & Burn

“What are you saying?”

Before she can answer, Emmett comes back over with Drew’s new lime White Claw, and she pulls him down by the arm, so she can whisper in her ear. I can’t hear what she is saying over the music, but I see the skin peeking out of the collar of the shirt Emmett is wearing turn a few shades redder than usual, and I instantly feel like I shouldn’t interrupt.

Drew gives him a kiss on the cheek before grabbing my arm and leading me through the Employees Only door.

Drew pulls me into Emmett’s office and shuts the door behind us.

“What I’m saying is,” she continues as if I didn’t just watch her flirt her ass off to get her future-husband to agree to let us use his office, “Eddieneedsyou. You guys aregoodfor each other.”

I laugh because I don’t know what else to do.

“What’s so funny?” Drew asks, crossing her arm and leaning back on Emmett’s desk. His office is small with a desk in the middle of the room, a small couch in the corner, and a whiteboard hanging on the wall with magnets holding the bar schedule, what I assume is stuff for inventory, and some other stuff I can’t read. It is minimal and so perfectly Emmett, with no personal touches aside from a note from Drew written on the whiteboard and a photo of them on his desk.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe that youactuallythink Eddie and I would work.”

“You would. You both have had a shitty hand dealt to you, yet you both are always the first to put a smile on your face.”

“Just because you smile doesn’t mean you aren’t seconds away from falling apart.” The words ring true not only for me, and for Eddie, but I know that hit Drew too. Her face softens, and she reaches out to grab my hand.

“We’re all seconds away from falling apart, Mia, but that is why we have people who help hold us together. It doesn’t make us any less strong or any less broken, but it makes us less alone.”

She squeezes my hand, and my eyes sting.

I want to be that person for Eddie, and the more I talk about us with Drew, the more I feel like it isn’t as bad of an idea as I thought.

But, then I remember my brother and how he warned me against getting distracted by anything other than myself, and I have been doing good. It has been months with no panic attacks, helpful therapy sessions, time with friends, doing work I love, and reconnecting with my brother.

I don’t want to ruin that.

Mateo has also alluded to Eddie not being good for me, but I can’t help but think that isjustthe older brother-protectiveness speaking.

“Drew, I can’t.”

“Why? Because your older brother said so? If I have learned anything this past year, it is not to let anyone or anything get in the way of being with who you love, even if that person is yourself.”

“He’s Mateo's best friend.”

“Remember what you told me about what your therapist said? To not hyper-analyze every single scenario? Every little decision?” I smile because Drew and I love to compare notes from our therapy sessions, and we are always trying to convince everyone in our friend group that therapy is a god-send. “Here’s your chance. I’m not saying Eddie is your soulmate, but you’ll never know if you just keep pretending he is just a friend.”

I wipe the tear threatening to fall with my empty hand, and Drew pulls me in with the hand she is still holding. Her arms wrap around me, as if telling me everything is going to be okay.

“Can I tell you something?” She says into my hair.

“Anything,” I answer, and I mean it whole-heartedly.

“I haven’t known Eddie as long as Emmett or your brother has, but I have spent a lot of time with him the past year and half.” She pulls back, and we drop our arms to our sides. “But I have never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you.”

I don’t know what to say and I don’t think Drew was looking for a response because she hooks her arm in mine and leads us back out to our table where Emmett is waiting for her.

“All good?” he asks, and it takes me a moment to register he is asking me.

“All good.”

He gives me a nod before looking at Drew.

“So was that promise a right-now thing or a later-thing?”

“Emmett!” Drew’s cheeks flush to match her hair. “Of course it was a later thing.”

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