Page 27 of Back To You

But buying a place that’s mine, for me to run how I want to, sounds much more appealing than I thought it would.

No.

I let out a laugh, but there isn’t much humor behind it. “I’m sticking to the plan, Ben.” I give him a smile that I hope proves to him that I’m fine, even if he just gave me one more thing I have no business thinking about.

“You don’t have to be a lawyer,” he assures, and I take a page from Annie’s book and roll my eyes.

“That’s easy for you to say.”

Bennett and I don’t really talk about my decision to step up and do what our father wanted for him. It’s something that has gone unspoken in our family.

Until now, apparently.

“I know the pressure Dad puts on you is partly my fault, and I’m sorry for that,” Bennett starts, “but you’re an adult. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

I hear what my brother is saying, and I want to believe it. It sounds sopossiblewhen it’s out in the open, but there’s this nagging feeling deep in my gut that won’t go away. This feeling of dread, of not wanting to be an even bigger disappointment than I already am.

“Every time I think of doing something different with my life, I tell myself I can’t just back out now, not after all the time and money—Dad’s money—I put into it,” I protest, arguing a point that I don’t even want to make. It feels more like an excuse. “He’s not even my biological dad, and he put me through school and now is giving me a spot at his firm. People wouldkillfor that.”

“You do not owe him anything, Luke. You and I both know that it took me dropping out for him to even look at you as his son.” His voice is harsh, and the words feel like a knife to my chest. But they are the truth.

This is not what I was expecting when I agreed to breakfast this morning, and by the slight rise of Jack’seyebrows and the way Bennett pauses, I don’t think either of them were expected it either.

Bennett’s words are the same words I’ve thought to myself my entire life, but I always told myself I was overreacting. Hearing it from someone else’s perspective makes it all the more real. All the years of feeling like I wasn’t good enough for the family I thought I was born into, just to find out that, for my father, it was true.

It all must show on my face because Bennett adds, “You’re my brother. You always have been because all that other shit our parents tried to hide from us doesn’t matter to me. You and Caleb matter to me. Caleb is doing what he wants to; I’m doing what I want. You deserve the same. Who gives a fuck what Dad thinks?”

Jack nods, agreeing with my brother. Bennett’s right. I don’t care what my dad thinks—not anymore—but why can’t I feel anything but guilt for not wanting to stick to what I made the choice to do?

“I’ll figure it out,” I finally say, but there is nothing in my voice that sounds convincing. I can tell Bennett is thinking the same, but he doesn’t push it. Our waitress comes over to take our order, and the rest of breakfast is more of catching up and filling each other in on our lives.

I tell them about last night and meeting Lennon, updating them on both Drew and Emmett. They ask about Eddie and Mia, and I fill them in on their courthouse wedding last week and how both the band and Mia’s photography business is doing.

Jack and Bennett, along with my oldest brother, have met the Lenny’s crew on many occasions over the years. Drew, Eddie, Mia, and I, being the ones with siblings, always try to bring our brothers and sisters around ourfriends—Emmett’s sister, Lennon, is always around in spirit.

Finally, as we finish our breakfasts, Bennett asks about Annie.

Both Jack and Bennett know my history with her because they had front-row seats to not only our whole relationship but when she up and left me too. The two of them watched the two of us grow up, and they both always gave me a hard time about her, thinking that she was the one who got away.

Little do they know that I love a challenge, and Annie is the biggest one of all.

“You’re telling me you have to live with the girl who broke your heart for the next month?” Bennett exasperates. They both got a kick out of me convincing Annie to live with me, not knowing the whole story of who she is now.

I let out a real laugh this time. “It’s a living hell,” I tell them, deciding that I can disclose more about Annie and me to them than I can our friends. “I just can’t get over her, you guys. There’s no one like her.”

“No one like Vivian Mitchell? She was the quietest little girl I think I’ve ever known. I don’t think she ever said one word to me even though I was at your guys’ house as much as she was,” Jack recalls with a smile and shake of the head.

The memory of the quiet Annie who used to come over to do homework or study hits me right in the heart.

From the moment our first-grade teacher sat us next to each other, I followed Annie around like a lost puppy. Her shyness intrigued me, even at such a young age, because it was such a stark contrast to me, and all I ever wanted to do was get her out of her shell.

I would talk her ear off, ask her questions, and try to make her laugh, and those moments she gave me more than a nod of her head or a small smile became addicting.

I knew I loved Annie from the moment I saw her, but that love transformed when we got to high school. Admiring her turned intoneedingher, and it wasn’t until we made things official in that she opened up about her parents and her life at the trailer park.

I realized that maybe she needed me as much as I needed her.

When she told me about the shit her parents said to her—especially her mom—she thought I was joking when I told her she should move into my bedroom.

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