Page 38 of Back To You

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Luke left my room Saturday night without another word.

I could’ve—should’ve—told him.

But I didn’t.

Aside from when we get together with our friends, Luke and I have exchanged less than twenty words in the last three weeks.

He’s giving me space—or maybe taking the space he needs away from me.

I found out from Mia that Luke was putting off his dad’s firm until Lennon was a few months old and Emmett was back at the bar regularly—I was sad to hear he’s still planning on going to work for the son of a bitch.

I wanted to talk to him about it.

But it isn't my place.

I’ve thought myself to death about all of this Luke stuff, and I need to talk to him about what happened at Grant’s party and why I left. Then I—the both of us—can have some well-deserved closure. I can’t cut him out of my life, it’s not possible, and I’m finding that I don’treally want to. But I don’t want this shit hanging over our heads anymore.

We’ll get our closure, and then we’ll be friends.

But I didn’t realize how much I would miss him after these three weeks.

He still leaves me notes on the counter or texts me when he’ll be home. I still make enough of my dinners for him, and he leaves out my stuff to make my matcha in the morning. We’re under the same roof, so I still see him, but I still miss him.

And that scares me.

I’ve been able to distract myself long enough with finishing up my veterinarian assistant shifts at the animal shelter and prepping for my rotations that start next week, but living in this limbo isn’t fair to either of us.

Today was my last day at the animal shelter, so Mia, Eddie, Drew, Emmett, and one-and-a-half-month old Lennon are meeting me at Lenny’s to celebrate.

Luke closes the bar on Fridays with Ava, one of the new bartenders, so I’ve decided that tonight is the night we talk without me biting his head off.

“What’s your first rotation?” Drew asks. She has Lennon strapped around her chest like a mini backpack, and Emmett is standing behind her chair at the bar.

“My first two weeks will be at my school’s teaching hospital, and then I’m doing four weeks with the Milwaukee Zoo.”

“Do you know what you’re thinking of doing after this year?” Emmett asks, his arm wrapped around Drew’s chair.

“Not really. That’s what this year is for. Figuring out what I want to do.”

“Enough about school and work for now,” Mia announces from the chair to the left of me, Eddie on theother side of her. “Tonight is about celebrating what you’ve already accomplished, not what you’re about to.”

She smiles and holds up her drink. “Luke!” she yells to the far side of the bar as Drew holds up her White Claw, and Emmett and Eddie hold up their beers. “Come here!”

Luke turns to see us all holding up our drinks and rushes over with his water bottle he keeps behind the bar.

“Cheers to Annie,” Mia says as Luke holds up his water bottle next to our glasses. “We know you’re going to kick ass with your rotations!”

“To Annie!” my friends echo, and my eyes find Luke. I should’ve known his eyes would’ve already been on me making my stupid heart skip a beat. “To our Annie girl,” he adds before clinking his water bottle with our glasses.

The bar is crowded for a Friday, groups of regulars and people our age filling up the booths and high top tables and a whole lot of college kids who walked over from the baseball field down the road with all their equipment.

“How are the new bartenders?” Eddie asks Luke, nodding towards Ava who is working the bar tonight. She looks to be a year or two younger than me, with strawberry blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Freckles are sprinkled over face, and she carries herself well.

She’s cute and quiet, and I think the regulars will get a kick out of making her blush.

She reminds me a little of the old me.

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