Page 45 of Beneath Her Skin

Fuck, she makes me feel crazy. This is insanity.

Every little thing feels so overwhelming. It’s too much, all the time. Every minor convenience brings me closer to my breaking point. One day I’m going to snap, and I’ll be too tired of the bullshit to care. Moving forward feels so unattainable.Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be able to escape that toxic and suffocating house. I just want to leave.

I have to do something or nothing will ever change.

Though not unusual, these thoughts plague me as I ride through the isolated trail into the bigger city, where my boyfriend lives. His place is not the better option, but he’s the only other person I have. All my friends either ghosted me or went to college and moved on to bigger things. Not that I blame any of them, in fact I’ll always be rooting for their success from afar.

Hollow Ridge is not a small town, but it isn’t a big city either. It’s more suburban calm with urban perks. There’s lots of open wilderness, but darkness lingers and puts a damper on any worthwhile sights. Or maybe I’m just projecting. My house is miles away from the nearest neighbor. We don’t live completely secluded, but there is no community for us either.

The ride does little to ease the tension in my bones, and before I know it, I’m right in front of Elias’ doorstep. He hates when I show up unannounced, but I refuse to tell him when I’m coming. If he’s hiding something, I won't give him enough time to hide it. Using the copy I made of his key, I let myself inside to the sound of multiple voices and laughter floating in from the living room.

Great.

I hate when his friends are here. All they do is drink and talk about the most idiotic shit. Of course, once they get drunk, they grow louder and more aggressive. I’m praying that no one heard me come in. Those hopes are instantly crushed when I reach for the doorknob and a smooth, slightly slurred voice calls my name, making me freeze.

“Tiana? When did you get here? I didn’t know you were coming. Come, join us,” Elias says, eyes darkening in a way that makes my stomach sink.

Golden locks of hair frame his face perfectly in a way the old me would have swooned over. He never has a hair out of place. Icy blue eyes bore into me with a wicked glint that promises pain. Elias’ chiseled face and towering frame once made me feel safe and wanted. By the time I realized it was a facade, it was too late. One of us will bleed. That’s the way it always is.

Plastering on a fake smile, I take a small step backward only to have him advance toward me. “Is anyone else’s girlfriend here? You know I don’t like being the only woman in a room full of those men,” I say sweetly, despite my insides curling in.

His smirk drops the same second his hand snaps up to squeeze my arm, pulling me closer to him. “You must’ve mistaken me. I was not asking,” he grits out. I tug my arm away, but his grip only gets tighter. “All that ever comes out of your mouth ismen suck,yet you’re datinga man.Don’t you think it’s time you hopped off that bandwagon and let the trend die?”

A record screeched in my head.

“What…what fucking trend? Are you serious?” My blood rushes to my ears, muffling the bullshit he’s spewing.

Elias huffs a laugh. “Women hating men is just a trend. You know this is all about fitting in with everyone else, but at the end of the day you still rely on a man, obey a man, and fuck a man.”

The conviction in his words tells me he truly believes men aren’t one of the biggest problems in this world. I shouldn’t be surprised; he’s cut from the same cloth. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m speechless, frozen to my spot with bulging eyes. Not from defeat, not because he’s right, but because my body is reaching new levels of anger and hatred, swirling his words around in my head on a loop.

He’s right about one thing. Why the hellam Iwith a man? My dildo does a better job, and I’d bet all the money in my savings that a woman would know how to use a cock better than the specimen that carries it between their legs.

“There we go, you’re starting to understand,” he murmurs, rubbing his thumb against my cheek. When I jerk back, his expression darkens again.

Finding my voice, I fight to keep it steady. “I don’t understand and I don’t agree. This isn’t some trend, this is real life. Most men are monsters and don’t care to hide it. They make this world a shitty place and it shouldn’t be a surprise that women are tired of it all.”

“Oh, cut the shit, Tiana. Face it, you’re only upset because your daddy left and didn’t want to love you. That isn’t our fault. If anything it’s yours for not being a better daughter. Now, you’re carrying that into adulthood and it’s ugly,” Elias sneers.

My heart leaps to my throat, body vibrating. The edge of my vision darkens as my eyes narrow on him. “Fuck you, Eli. You are no better than my daddy or yours for that-”

My head whips to the side quicker than I can blink, pain blooming from my neck and spreading up to the searing handprint on my cheek.

Pulling me in until our faces just barely touch, he grits out, “Watch your fucking mouth and drop the hysterics before you embarrass me in front of company. Never mention my father again. Now, put on a smile for my friends and be a good little girlfriend.”

Without another word, he drags me into the large living room with a body on almost every seat. Vaguely, I hear a whistle and some comments float in, but my mind is miles away.

You finally brought out your toy.

I hope they taught you how to share.

Where was this one hiding?

Sitting next to Elias, I stare off into the distance as my jaw gets tighter. He hit me. That bastard slapped me…and I just let him.

The signs were always there, but I stupidly ignored them, chasing an escape in the first place I found it. I’m not dumb enough to believe I could’ve fought back and beat him. If he thinks I’ll continue to sit idly by while he starts to beat on me, he’s in for a surprise. He put his fucking hands on me, now I have to put my hands on him.

Elias Andino needs to feel where I’m coming from. He needs to understand the pain and torment that men like him bring others. The pain he thinks he’ll bring me, I’ll serve it to him on a silver platter.

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